First World Problems This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

February 3, 2012
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I am in the living room finding the vertex of parabolas
My finger lazily traces the curve of swerve in an oriental design, in the carpet
My father got as a present from his employer
My older sister is in the kitchen translating the Aeneid
There is a warm cup of tea sitting beside her as she searches
For the subject of the sentence (which happens to be Dido)
My mother is on a computer hunting for tonight’s dinner
My best guess would be another Mark Bittman recipe
Which she will print off in blue, because we are all out of black ink
My dad is on his way home, driving a black station wagon, manufactured in Germany
Stuck in the traffic near the international airport, although some would argue that it
Really isn’t international after all because you can never get direct
My grandmother just turned on the tennis match between Federer and Nadal
And is fussing at my grandfather for buying more cookies (he is not supposed to have
Too much sugar)
My dog has just settled with a groan on the guest room bed
She has a way of doing it so she can watch out the window for my father,
My mother grumbles about the hair on the covers

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