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Growing up

Is it strange
That memories make me sad
That old photographs
And picture albums
Seem a lot more like time lost
And smiles forgotten
Than lessons learned
Or hours invested?
And maybe,
In the past I didn’t do what I needed to
To be happy in here and now
So maybe I miss the carefree days of childhood
When joy was not a chore
And laughter slipped away effortlessly into the sunset
Only to rise again the next day.
But eventually the ease of bliss sank with the light one evening
And the next morning it didn’t come back.
And maybe I didn’t value my happiness enough
Didn’t hold onto it tightly enough
But back in those days
I didn’t know I was in danger of losing it.
And now life is nothing but a morning of bleary eyes
When the sunrise brings nothing but exhaustion and the clamor of an alarm clock
And the incessant noise follows you all day
Always saying one more thing
Just a little bit more work
Not quite good enough.
So I wake up every morning to coffee grounds and apathy
And wonder where the lighthearted days slipped away to.



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