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Difficult
If difficult is,
destroying your body
only to see
that number drop.
If it is
looking in the mirror
and struggling to see
that beautiful girl
who everyone talks about,
then difficult is
what I have seen.
If difficult is,
walking through the halls alone
and hearing the lies.
If it is
trying to hold back the tears
while you are being talked about
from two feet away,
then difficult is
what I have heard.
If difficult is,
trying to find a reason for
the stupid things you did.
If it is
wanting to take back
every mistake
that you will
live with forever,
then difficult is
what I have done.
If difficult is,
being the bigger person
after they ruined your life.
If it is
smiling to make them believe
that you are not broken inside,
then difficult is
what I have struggled through.
If difficult is,
lying in that bed
through days of pain.
If it is
praying for an answer
but never getting one,
then difficult is
where I have been.
If difficult is,
being held down
when no one is around.
If it is
trying to find
a way to escape,
then difficult is
what I have felt.
If difficult is,
realizing that
you are in too deep
when you never even thought
you would last a week.
If it is
saying those three words
that you know are true
and wondering
if he really means it too;
then difficult is
what I have said.
Maybe difficult is,
making the most
of the little moments.
Maybe it is
being miles apart
when we only wish
to see each other,
but I wouldn’t know.
I guess I will have to
wait and see
how difficult
this will be.
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