The Bird | Teen Ink

The Bird

January 29, 2012
By Kiki_McGee GOLD, Woodstock, Illinois
Kiki_McGee GOLD, Woodstock, Illinois
16 articles 16 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." - Emily Dickinson


Fluttering down
Making hardly a sound,
I bow with mock sympathy.
Beneath my claws
A woman sobs,
Her tears --
Not staining me.

'Oh Torturous Heart!'
She wails into the dark,
'Why must you ache?
Why must you feel?'

No answer comes
But my simple remark.

'Hateful,'
She whispers.
'Hateful you are!
You made me this way you know!'

I grin --
Ever-joyful --
And ruffle my feathers.
I know she has more left to say.

'I never knew --
Never had a life
Outside this cage!'
She screeched at me.
'You knew from the start
That I --
I would never soar.'

I cackled at this.
How ignorant she is;
How ignorant they are.
Trying to be unique,
They resist me.
Resist until they snap
And end up --
Floundering.
Lost.
A broken wing --
The cause.
A love --
The loss.

Eyes twinkling
Like rubies red,
I sidle up close
To my dear, little friend.

'Like those before you
And others yet to come,'
My voice scratched.
'Cast away to the depths:
Your Body --
Your Heart --
Free your soul,'
Whispered I,
'And Die.'



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This article has 12 comments.


on Oct. 12 2012 at 11:16 am
Kiki_McGee GOLD, Woodstock, Illinois
16 articles 16 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." - Emily Dickinson

Thanks.  I really liked your running poem.

on Oct. 11 2012 at 8:56 am
Kiki_McGee GOLD, Woodstock, Illinois
16 articles 16 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." - Emily Dickinson

Thanks for your honest review :) If it is possible, could you please telling me where you think the plot line gets a little muddied so that I can keep an eye out in later poems?

Dynamo DIAMOND said...
on Sep. 4 2012 at 4:00 am
Dynamo DIAMOND, Lahore, Other
54 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
I used to think falling in love would be personal. But it's all a big public show.

Sorry for the delay, but here I am.^_^ First of all, this was Awesome. And I mean it. Not many would make a theme out of so simple an animal. But you did it, and three cheers for you!   Now let's get on to more serious matters. You have a unique style, but glitches, such as those you(I think so) mistakenly added aren't actually great. There is a definitive plot line, but at some places it gets lost. Not that it causes avctual harm though. You soar back to the crest of the musical wave after falling down to the trough. Well, that says it. Goodluck on your future writing!

on Aug. 26 2012 at 2:51 am
Pika_Princess, Escondido, California
0 articles 0 photos 118 comments
You're writing style is unique, that's for sure. And you do have a voice of your own. I especially like how you describe thing, even the simplest things in the most interesting and creative ways! And I agree with Meonly, this did remind me a bit of Poe and a tad bit of Sylivia Plath. This, like your other piece, is amazing and I truly loved it! Continue writing, you definitely have a talent for it!

on Aug. 16 2012 at 11:24 pm
Kiki_McGee GOLD, Woodstock, Illinois
16 articles 16 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." - Emily Dickinson

Thank you so much. Now that I look back on this poem, however, I see so many places that I could have smoothed over better or improved on.

on Aug. 16 2012 at 11:21 pm
Kiki_McGee GOLD, Woodstock, Illinois
16 articles 16 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." - Emily Dickinson

Thanks. I really like some of your works too.

on Aug. 16 2012 at 11:19 pm
Kiki_McGee GOLD, Woodstock, Illinois
16 articles 16 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." - Emily Dickinson

Thank you. It was inspired by the last chapter of The Awakening

Meonly BRONZE said...
on Aug. 16 2012 at 3:56 pm
Meonly BRONZE, Granite Falls, Minnesota
4 articles 0 photos 10 comments
I could see this in a poetry book... and i don't know many poet authors but it reminds me a bit of adgar allen poe !

lissa_ GOLD said...
on Aug. 15 2012 at 5:59 pm
lissa_ GOLD, Salt Lake City, Utah
16 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything."- Suckerpunch
"The purpose of life is to be a better version of yourself."- Lucy Hale

you're really talented! it has a really unique style of writing.

on Aug. 15 2012 at 3:49 pm
realbeautifulheart PLATINUM, Livermore, California
21 articles 1 photo 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is a package that you have to sign for. Yes, it's free. No, there's no guarantee as to what it holds. Open with caution, it's 'FRAGILE'." (I made this up.)

Amazing! You sould like a professional. I absoluetly loved every second of it. The depth and perseption, the darker mood, everthing. Every word flowed perfectly. Keep writing!!!

on Feb. 15 2012 at 8:12 pm
LoonyLoopyLupin GOLD, Raynham, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am proud of who I am. I believe in what I do." -Pavel Chekov (Star Trek The Original Series, episode: "The Way To Eden")

This is fantastic! It's so dark, deep and beautiful at the same time. I have a feeling this poem is going to be stuck in my head for awhile. I love the way it flows. Amazing job!

on Feb. 15 2012 at 5:55 pm
SteelJam BRONZE, Cheswick, Pennsylvania
3 articles 1 photo 19 comments
This was really good! I could feel the emotion! This is great!