Everything I Meant To Say

January 26, 2012
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I missed my chance of telling you everything I needed to get off my chest because I cared so much about what you thought.
I meant to tell you...
I don’t need you
I don’t know what I ever saw in you
You made my life hell for so long
You were my first love and heartbreak
You made me cold
I guess in a way you saved me the time I could be with my Prince Charming
I meant to tell you
I loved you more than anything else
You were the reason I smiled so much
Seeing you got me through my most miserable days
You were the one that hurt me the most
Yet you were the one I wanted to hold on to above all else
With everything that happened with you I meant to tell you something I would never say out loud to you
I meant to say thank you
Because of you I felt the what its like to love with all your heart
I felt the highest of highs and the lowest of lows
You made me realize how important I am and the fact that I don’t deserve to go through all the pain
You made me realize how I don’t want a guy to treat me
Made me realize I’m too good for all those games
With all that time it took for me to get over you, I went from being terrified of opening my heart to being ready to again, knowing not all guys are like you
I don’t know if I’ll ever have my chance to tell you face to face everything I meant to say
At least with these words on the paper I don’t have to carry them in my soul anymore

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