Not knowing

January 23, 2012
I hate not knowing
I hate waking up wondering if it's still alive
I hate going around being depressed
I just want to know if this is real
I just need to see
I need to feel
I think about stopping contact
Just stopping it all.

But then,
I am overcome with the guilt that I had before
I realize once more that you are the only one for me
I realize that I can't live without you.
But I always wonder what you really think about me
I want to stay your friend
I just don't know what to do anymore
and I don't think anyone will replace you in my heart
If only I could prove how strongly I feel
But for now,
I shall condense my true feeling into a bottle within my heart
And maybe one day I can find happiness again.
But will it be you who causes it?

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