If You'd Watched Me

January 22, 2012
If you’d watched me grow up
This is what you would’ve seen

A smiling girl who liked to dress up
To laugh, to yell, to scream

A girl who kept herself surrounded by friends,
Who always found good in another

You would’ve seen that girl whose heart of gold
Melted to a heart of stone

Seen her lose those she once knew and loved
Trade her girly clothes for black

Whose laugh was permanently silenced
Whose trust was forever broken

You’d never believe the girl you see today
Was ever the girl she was then

The girl you see is broken
Unsure, unloved, missing

In contrast to her so short a time ago,
Confident, laughing, smiling

Yellow and pink to black and gray
Orange and blue to purple and red

If you’d watched me grow up
You’d see a little girl who showed

No sign she’d turn into her counterpart
The monster with no place to go

That little girl would never understand
How life can be so cruel

So if you ever see her
Don’t let her know

Let her enjoy her childhood innocence
She won’t have it for long

Give her one last smile, one last laugh,
Let her be okay for one moment longer

You’d never believe that laughing little girl
Would have this soul of black

That she’d give up everything she knew
Opting for living life alone

That the girl with so many friends
Decided people will only hurt you in the end

If you’d watched me grow up
You’d see a little girl

Who thought she’d be okay
With a future as bright as the sun

But with all doors closed
So did her heart

And the world left her with the cards against her
Fighting her way back

The little girl became the monster
From her fairytales

And if you can recall,
Monsters never get the happy ending

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