Sometimes I wish I were numb
Numb to the world around me
Numb to my problems that burden my life

I wish I could not feel
If I could not feel I would not suffer
If I did not suffer I would not fight
Fight back pain
Fight back desire
Fight back you

I lock myself in a closet and everything is spinning

If I could not feel I would not be hopeless
If I could not feel I would not be useless

Why do I care what people think of me?

I lie to myself
I know it matters

I wish I were numb to people’s perception of me
I wish I can say I truly do not care
I wish I can say I was a fighter
A symbol of strength and integrity

Inside I’m an ordinary girl; scared of heights
And has butterflies on a first date

I hope I won’t disappoint myself
I hope I’m being true to myself
But...that would be a lie