Where I stand is in the back of the classroom afraid to speak,
Where I stand is in the lunch room with my head on the table afraid to eat,
Where I stand is alone in my room while my brothers and sisters are outside all day,
Where I stand is on the bus while other children yell, fuss and play.
I am in the mist of standing but no one understands me;
My world is lonely even in the crowd of other friends and family feels as though they ignore me. No one adores me because it feels as though the world foreshadows over me as if I am affiliated with mortality I’m playing with death. That when I speak no one hears me, no one sees me, no one knows that I exist, that I would just one day vanish upon the mist, that I became older and not yet received a single kiss.
You would think that someone that anyone that was a child such as me, would be missed but it appears that I was no one and it would always be that everywhere I turn the world will put its shadow over me.
It’s becoming cold and I learned a prayer that if I ask for something UN-materialistic and it would float in the air, that a man they call god sends blessings down here.
It’s been a long time and I can’t take the UN-existing me any longer I’ve seen that everyday has been a struggle and I can not wait any longer.
I cry some more and wish that I can end the aching in my heart and the troubles that have been, since the day I was born I felt unwanted and lately my dreams felt haunted.
I wondered if this god had something to do with this or if this was happening because of my ungratefulness I closed my eyes and someone’s words begun “Child, what you have ahead of you has just begun.” I wanted to ask why but it was as if he had read my mind. He then said, “Your blessing would come in due time.”
I wake up feeling as if a whole new person was in me that I had the ability to do anything. I took what was said and had a new perspective I was no longer going to rebel against myself nor tolerate me being lower than anyone else.
So where I stand is above myself, many things had come such as family I’ve never known and unknown friends that have grown. I had mad such a success of myself that I was given a name. The name was Terry it means one who is fantastic at everything she turns her hands too, caring, thoughtful and loyal. That is what I was called, that name was my personality, it was where I belonged, and in the end where I stand.