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Where the sky ends

My dreams end
Where the edges of the earth
Touch the sky
I grasp for them
Sometimes stuck trying to reach there
Sometimes not turning my head to see what is around me
Dreams
What everyone wants to reach
Needs to reach
But if everyone could reach
Where would the sky end and my life begin?




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nmk1128 said...
Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:30 pm:
I feel as if the way you divide some of your lines - lines two and three and lines ten and eleven  - aren't benefiting your poem; perhaps, you could combine them or reword them or something that feels right to you. I also think you could use punctation throughout your poem, since poetry is a more audible experience I couldn't give you any suggestions because I don't know how you want it to sound. What I did really enjoy about your poem was the question asked in the last two line... (more »)
 
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IMSteelThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 12, 2013 at 2:31 pm:
Very smoothly written, I don't really have any complaints about it.  Good job!
 
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