Where the sky ends

January 19, 2012
By therabidrabbit BRONZE, Rockville, Maryland
therabidrabbit BRONZE, Rockville, Maryland
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Two things are infinte: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe - Albert Einstein


My dreams end
Where the edges of the earth
Touch the sky
I grasp for them
Sometimes stuck trying to reach there
Sometimes not turning my head to see what is around me
Dreams
What everyone wants to reach
Needs to reach
But if everyone could reach
Where would the sky end and my life begin?



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This article has 2 comments.


nmk1128 SILVER said...
on Jan. 13 2013 at 10:30 pm
nmk1128 SILVER, Fort Myers, Florida
6 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

I feel as if the way you divide some of your lines - lines two and three and lines ten and eleven  - aren't benefiting your poem; perhaps, you could combine them or reword them or something that feels right to you. I also think you could use punctation throughout your poem, since poetry is a more audible experience I couldn't give you any suggestions because I don't know how you want it to sound. What I did really enjoy about your poem was the question asked in the last two lines; very thought provoking and kind of a romantic's worst nightmare. 

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 12 2013 at 2:31 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Very smoothly written, I don't really have any complaints about it.  Good job!


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