Perfectly Damaged

January 19, 2012
By maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn


Sitting in my wheelchair
My thin legs are strapped to poles
I’m stuck
Unmoving
I’m trapped deep in a hole

Each morning I awaken
From a wistful dream
Tears are streaming down my face
Dreaming of who I could be
I cannot move without someone pushing me along
Sitting in my wheelchair
To it I do belong

From the second I escaped
My mother’s womb,
The chord was wrapped around my neck
The smell of death enveloping
Like a silent tomb
The nurses and doctors running
In a hurried rush
My mother crying into her robe
My father saying
“Hush”
They did unwrap that dreaded chord
Just in time to keep me
But something was lost
Why do you care?
I don’t.
I’m still just being me

But actually the worst part
Is really not the chair
But all the lingering looks
And all the avoiding stares
Looking at the floor or wall
Pretending I’m not there

Sitting in my wheelchair,
Trying desperately to hide
My drooling mouth
And sagging eyes
Trying to make them see
The girl I am inside

Sitting in my wheelchair,
Dreaming of a better day
Where I will be on my own
Finding my own way
I shall prove to the world
That I can do it all
I can think
I can dream
I can shine
And I will take back something that is rightfully mine



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This article has 43 comments.


on Dec. 19 2012 at 9:45 pm
applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments
im sorry for the late reply:(but i dont think you even needed me to say that this poem is utterly amazing!!!!but im glad you asked for me to read it because its a brilliant piece that cannot go unread.

on May. 25 2012 at 2:45 pm
Kiki_McGee GOLD, Woodstock, Illinois
16 articles 16 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." - Emily Dickinson

I absolutely love the subject you chose for this poem. Beautiful.

sumer44 GOLD said...
on May. 23 2012 at 8:49 pm
sumer44 GOLD, Arvada, Colorado
14 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.

That was AMAZING!!!! I really liked it. And thanks for responding to my thread and poem.

on May. 13 2012 at 8:13 pm
minty-fresh BRONZE, Glendale, California
2 articles 1 photo 7 comments
This is SO good! I love the emotion in it.

on May. 2 2012 at 5:56 pm
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

Thank you!

on May. 1 2012 at 9:03 pm
JessicaQ PLATINUM, North Vancouver, British Columbia, Other
23 articles 5 photos 28 comments
Such a strong and beautiful poem! I love it!

on May. 1 2012 at 5:39 pm
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

Thanks so much!

on May. 1 2012 at 5:39 pm
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

Thank you so much for the feedback!

deleted said...
on Apr. 30 2012 at 8:25 pm
deleted, Miami, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 195 comments
Beautiful! Hauntingly powerful, I love it!!

on Apr. 30 2012 at 7:42 pm
snowleopard100 PLATINUM, New York City, New York
33 articles 1 photo 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, but I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

This is such a strong and sad poem; in saying its sad, that's a testament to your talent that you can make a poem so emotional. Great job!!!!

on Apr. 25 2012 at 6:56 am
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

Thank you so much, for you critique and praise. I do agree, that the rhyming is a little forced at times, so thank you for pointing that out.

on Apr. 24 2012 at 6:07 pm
StrangeJade PLATINUM, Relative Obscurity, California
36 articles 17 photos 391 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it." - Life of Pi

Bravo! :) My favorite stanza is by far the second, especially the phrase "When I first escaped my mother's womb." The way that even birth is tied to tension and false freedom sums up the atmosphere of this piece very well.

 

My only critique is that the rhyme seemed a little forced at times. If you find yourself reaching a point where you want so badly to use a line in a rhyming poem that you have to end up reordering the words, you should either consider making the poem free verse or moving the line elsewhere. (For example, the line "To it I do belong" -- a powerful phrase, but oddly worded so as to almost pull me out of your beautiful words!) I think that your subject is a powerful one, but not one that requires the use of rhyme.

 

Wow, that's embarrassingly long. -_- Oh dear. But I did quite enjoy this poem, and look forward to reading more of your work in the future!


on Apr. 24 2012 at 5:37 pm
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

Thanks for the feedback.

on Apr. 24 2012 at 5:35 pm
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

Thank you so much!

on Apr. 23 2012 at 8:30 pm
eternal_sunshine SILVER, Minnetonka, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.

Wow! This was so powerful, you have such great insight! It is very hard to write through the eyes of someone so different than us, and I think you did that very well! Really great job

on Apr. 23 2012 at 7:07 pm
dragonfly95 SILVER, Argaon, Georgia
7 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
'' there is nothing to fear but fear its self''

this is beautiful, just beautiful. it brings tears to my eyes. a truely emotion peice. excellent work!

on Apr. 20 2012 at 3:38 pm
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

Awwww! Thank you so much!

Taconut7 GOLD said...
on Apr. 20 2012 at 3:28 pm
Taconut7 GOLD, Cohasset, Minnesota
17 articles 1 photo 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life's challenges are not to bring you down, they are to help you become a stronger and better person! -Me

"If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will forever live its life believing it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

Wow, I almost cried after reading this! There was so much emotion and it was very powerful!

on Apr. 15 2012 at 2:00 pm
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 262 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

Thank you so much for the high praise! It means so much.

on Apr. 15 2012 at 1:54 pm
gb12197 PLATINUM, Bridgeport, Pennsylvania
20 articles 3 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"next time you feel like a failure, think about how you are alive, and you have the opportunity to be successful."

"i don't have an attitude, i have a personality you can't handle"

"i am weird"

this is a beautiful poem, it has so much emotion. i feel like even though it is so specific to what this girl went through, it is really about pain, and flaws that make society look at us different but we are our own regular people. it has such a strong message. i think it is absoloutley perfect, great job :)


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