She and He

January 21, 2012
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She walked in the classroom.
Not entirely early,
But with enough excess time
To converse with the other kids.
When she saw you, her face lit up.
Do you remember what you said to her?

You looked right into her eyes and said:
“I thought this was supposed to be a smart person class.”
Kidding of course, you laughed and smiled.
She smiled back.

Did you know her heart was racing?
It was racing when you talked to her,
It was racing because you talked to her.

Remember when you used to text her?
After school some days?
She, of course, would always text you first.
She was anxious to talk to you.
She loved talking to you.

Remember the things you used to say to her?
Or when you let your dog walk across the keyboard?
That made her smile.
You too, I bet.

And once, even,
You gave her your phone number.
She didn’t ask you for it, you just gave it to her.
And you spelled number wrong too.
But It made her day.

Another time she sat in the back of the bus.
Did you realize she did that to be near you?
Well, she did.

She realized something.
In two and a half months,
You’ll be the only person she’s liked for an entire year.

A year she has wasted on you.
Wasted on thinking about you.
Somewhere throughout that year,
Her friend told you
That she liked you.

And that shut you up.
No more talking to her.
No more jokes.
No more smiles.
Just embarrassment.
You were embarrassed of her.
That she liked you,
weren’t you?
And you hadn’t talked to her since.

But she was hurt.
She realized that she will be alone for
A long time.
And she thought you maybe
Liked her.
But obviously you didn’t.

Whenever she talked to you since,
It was never the same person
She had talked to before you knew.
I bet you didn’t know how much she missed talking to you.

In fact, I bet your friends
that she had trusted with the secret
had told you she liked you.
I bet they had told you long before her friend told you.
But you didn’t want to believe it.

Do you really think she’s horrible?
Is she horrible?
Do you regret anything you’d done to her?
I bet not.

She’s been thinking.
And she’s been trying to push you away from her.
She must have been tired of you being annoyed by her.

Must have been tired of you telling her you had to go,
When you would just turn around and talk to someone else.
She knew you did that.
She cared.

So the other day, she was standing with her guy friend
And you walked up and she heard your voice.

She started walking away.
Her friend asked her.
“Where are you going?”
She looked straight at her friend.
“Away.” She said.
Her friend asked her to tell again, he couldn’t hear her.
“Away.” This time she said it,
She looked from you to her friend.
And she left.

You didn’t stop her.
Did that hurt your feelings?
She hoped it did.

Why didn’t you ask her.
“Why are you leaving?” You could’ve said.
She could have told you it’s because she
Was tired of being around someone who
Didn’t accept her.
So she left.
And stood all by herself.

That’s right.
She’d rather stand all by herself than with you.
All by herself where you can’t give her annoyed stares.
And make crude faces towards her.

And what if she was gone?
What if she had disappeared from the earth?
What if she drowned?
Or jumped off a building?
Or took a bullet?
Would you miss her then?
You wouldn’t care.
You never cared.

In fact, I bet you wouldn’t even notice.

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