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Distant Hearts

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Our hearts were once bound by white thread.
Your illusions of a stronger net
unraveled the fragile bond holding us together.

Your heart embedded itself into the craters of the moon
and mine submerged itself into the stars’ fumes.

You sought to abandon me and succeeded.
But our hearts are forever entwined,
just like the stars are sewn to the moon.

We may try to erase the memories of us,
but they have been etched into our hearts.
Even as we tear ourselves further and further apart,
our hearts will recollect all the bittersweet moments.

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This article has 12 comments. Post your own now!

NickyJ said...
Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:16 pm
This is a very solid poem. The meaning it conveys is understandable, but not so obvious, which I liked. It makes you have to read it over to really grasp it.

My favorite line is: "just like stars are sewn to the moon." I think thats a great image and use of figurative language.

My only criticism is you use the word "hearts" quite often. A little repetition is good but you've used it so much it really takes away from the poem and gets the reader muddled up on the recurring... (more »)
stardreamer replied...
Mar. 6, 2012 at 7:26 pm
Thanks so much :) that was really helpful! I just couldn't think of any other word to replace hearts with.
readaholic This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 30, 2012 at 6:17 pm
Great poem-I had to read it twice to understand it, which is a great thing for your writing to do, especially poems. Awesome
stardreamer replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 7:13 pm
thanks :) i was a little afraid it was hard to understand
Shmelmo said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 8:08 pm
This poem is really cool! Also - very relatable. My favorite line was - "Your heart embedded itself into the craters of the moon" Keep writing, you are good at it! Could you check out my poem - Once a Survivor Forever a Fighter?
stardreamer replied...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 4:07 am
thanks :) and sure!
Silver2black said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 4:40 am
I really like the ending it seemed the most realistic still remembering, "just like the stars are sewn to the moon." I absolutely love this the amazing way you put the words together, I love every line gracefully describing !
stardreamer replied...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 10:36 am
Thanks soo much :)
sweetgirl70 replied...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 1:49 pm
hi that was really good i am in the middle of my poetry book too!!!!
stardreamer said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 4:36 am
Hey guys!! any type of feedback is welcomed. I'm looking for criticism so that I can make my poems better! :)
sweetgirl70 replied...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 1:52 pm
hi um well thanks i will be posting my poetry soon u r really good i was wonderin if u can edit it
stardreamer replied...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm
sure :) np and thanks
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