Distant Hearts

January 19, 2012
By stardreamer SILVER, Flemington, New Jersey
stardreamer SILVER, Flemington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Our hearts were once bound by white thread.
Your illusions of a stronger net
unraveled the fragile bond holding us together.

Your heart embedded itself into the craters of the moon
and mine submerged itself into the stars’ fumes.

You sought to abandon me and succeeded.
But our hearts are forever entwined,
just like the stars are sewn to the moon.

We may try to erase the memories of us,
but they have been etched into our hearts.
Even as we tear ourselves further and further apart,
our hearts will recollect all the bittersweet moments.


The author's comments:
This piece is just about relationships and how our hearts will always hold the memories of one even if we've already erased it from our minds.

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This article has 12 comments.


on Mar. 6 2012 at 7:26 pm
stardreamer SILVER, Flemington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments
Thanks so much :) that was really helpful! I just couldn't think of any other word to replace hearts with.

NickyJ BRONZE said...
on Mar. 5 2012 at 2:16 pm
NickyJ BRONZE, Hyde Park, New York
1 article 0 photos 138 comments

Favorite Quote:
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” ~Robert Frost

This is a very solid poem. The meaning it conveys is understandable, but not so obvious, which I liked. It makes you have to read it over to really grasp it.

My favorite line is: "just like stars are sewn to the moon." I think thats a great image and use of figurative language.

My only criticism is you use the word "hearts" quite often. A little repetition is good but you've used it so much it really takes away from the poem and gets the reader muddled up on the recurring sound. Because you use it so often, you also ran into the problem of being cliche. Otherwise, this was a great poem.

on Jan. 31 2012 at 7:13 pm
stardreamer SILVER, Flemington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments
thanks :) i was a little afraid it was hard to understand

on Jan. 30 2012 at 6:17 pm
readaholic PLATINUM, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
27 articles 0 photos 426 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather fail because I fell on my own face than fall because someone tripped me up
~Jhonen Vasquez

Great poem-I had to read it twice to understand it, which is a great thing for your writing to do, especially poems. Awesome

on Jan. 26 2012 at 4:07 am
stardreamer SILVER, Flemington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments
thanks :) and sure!

Shmelmo GOLD said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 8:08 pm
Shmelmo GOLD, Elma, Iowa
16 articles 9 photos 143 comments

Favorite Quote:
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

This poem is really cool! Also - very relatable. My favorite line was - "Your heart embedded itself into the craters of the moon" Keep writing, you are good at it! Could you check out my poem - Once a Survivor Forever a Fighter?

on Jan. 25 2012 at 2:54 pm
stardreamer SILVER, Flemington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments
sure :) np and thanks

sweetgirl70 said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 1:52 pm
hi um well thanks i will be posting my poetry soon u r really good i was wonderin if u can edit it

sweetgirl70 said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 1:49 pm
hi that was really good i am in the middle of my poetry book too!!!!

on Jan. 25 2012 at 10:36 am
stardreamer SILVER, Flemington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments
Thanks soo much :)

.king. SILVER said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 4:40 am
.king. SILVER, Yeux Bien Tres Bien, Other
9 articles 4 photos 573 comments

Favorite Quote:
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

I really like the ending it seemed the most realistic still remembering, "just like the stars are sewn to the moon." I absolutely love this the amazing way you put the words together, I love every line gracefully describing !

on Jan. 25 2012 at 4:36 am
stardreamer SILVER, Flemington, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments
Hey guys!! any type of feedback is welcomed. I'm looking for criticism so that I can make my poems better! :)


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