the truth behind the mirror

January 12, 2012
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i wonder what it feels like. to feel that of a one sided blade passing through my flesh.
that feeling of what can't be, that feeling of the ending days of what used to be.
i wonder what its like to lay under the stars and sing a silly heartfelt tune while the moon rises and bathes its cool light upon me.
i wonder how that when we die, that all we see is what was, rather then what could have been. our dreams tell us different whether its of a future, or of a past event.
the feelings are mutual; the despair enveloping me is not that of yours but of my anguish in losing the one true being that i once was. the days have ended, now I'm in eternal night.
the lights are fading and the darkness has enveloped me with no hopes of escaping. you may not miss me, or hear the screams i cry out. but now you know the reason for my strife.
the thunder booming and lightning lighting the sky, ill rain upon you like there is nothing but sorrow in my wake.
i walk this street, this road as if it were all that i have ever known, and you look at me like I'm nothing but anguish in the form of danger and fear.
my ideas are relentless, my feelings no more. there is no destination, no reason, and no time to talk for now what is left of me is disappearing through the void that makes up you and i.
so now you are left with nothing but a vague memory of what was supposed to be, while i am watching with a steady anger. my wrath may be over but its all to soon to grieve and to know what is next.
but now you know the other side of me. my anger is nothing, my emotions i wish i had. ever since this started i wanted help and nothing came.
now the angel that was watching is learning along with me. now the end is almost over. and i will have your back no matter how bad it gets.
i may be sorry for what i have done.
there's nothing i can change, but now it all falls on you, and what you can do to make a better world for us all.
the beauty and glory is restored. now start with what i wished could have been, and never forget that i will always love you, no matter how hard it gets, no matter what happens.
ill be here as long as you continue to believe in me.
so rest now my friend because we have a long day ahead of us.

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scenesoccerqueen said...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 6:39 pm
Wow you have no idea how this just inspired me. Really. wonderful piece...You know that feeling in you chest when you read or see something that strikes you to your soul and is like a punch of realization.A good one? That what i got reading your work...Theres alot ive done i wish i could redo and theres a lot i want but cant seem to get. But this inspires me to be content in whatever the situation and take life by the reigns and just live. Thanks!
hotshot replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 6:42 pm
thank you :) you dont know how much that means to me. im really glad you like my work, and im glad it inspired you. and as with you i am the same. but its true we have to be able to live with our decisions or else we are stuck with what if??
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 6:46 pm
Yes very seems to have a lot of what ifs but we need to gain more what nest kind of deals.
hotshot replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 6:54 pm
mhm :) thats why i try to move on a little bit. and thank you
scenesoccerqueen replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 7:11 pm
Youre welcome and umm i have no idea where 'nest' came from haha
hotshot replied...
Jan. 31, 2012 at 7:16 pm
thats ok lol
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