Paper cut

January 8, 2012
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Did you mean for me to feel this way?

Discarded and out of place?

I was once lost to my thoughts

My mind mingled in confusion; a single question ringing in my mind:

Was I ever good enough for you to begin with?

I could change my hair

The clothes I wear

The way I act and what I say

But underneath the make-up, the clothes I'll never get used to wearing and the words I'll never mean to say

There lies me, the girl who'll never change

Your words that stung

Your eyes that glared

But whatever you've done

My place was forever bound at your side

The feeling of belonging, of being an 'us'

Your twisted words of love and together, mingled in with promises of forever, kept me locked up in a cage of false security

In a way, I'm happy things went wrong

You set me free

Bounds and chains released

No more running

No more hiding

No more pretending that I'm not me

You never gave me what I deserved:

No love

No affection

Just absurd words with no substance

Foolish I was that I thought I could change you

Naïve I am to hope that this will change you

But I do thank you for the independence you've asserted in me

And the happiness you brought me when I thought you broke my heart

As well as the idea that anyone is better that what you are

Truly I'm not broken

Not bitter or battered

But if you still wonder and question my pain

Whether this whole thing was written out of my so-called 'wounding heartache'

But for your ego, I will not help

A paper cut is the best that you've dealt

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