Who I Am

I am quiet, introverted, and shy.
You don’t really know why.
I hide behind a mask, you see.
It’s so no one can see the sad, unhappy, and lonely me.

My emotions are too much to bear.
I‘m blinded, and can’t imagine the ones who care.
I debate whether to tell anyone my secret, but I’m letting it slide.
I would tell you, but I have too much pride.

I have so many friends, though I feel so alone.
I’m slowly letting you in, and your mind is completely blown.
Just because I'm quiet, doesn't mean I'm mute, boring, or I can’t be outgoing.
Don't make fun of me or judge how I am; your ideas will be ongoing.

Do you understand why I am the way I am?
Are you figuring this out gram by gram?
You may never see the real me.
No one can comprehend who I really want myself to be.

These feelings I repress are never shown.
I do not know how to express them on my own.
The only way I achieve a feeling of self-expression,
Is with this paper, pen, and an emotional session.

What will happen if these emotions are revealed?
I will no longer have my protective shield.
You’ll just never know
How many emotions I chose not to show.

I am misjudged and misunderstood,
Even though I may act like it’s all good.
This isn’t depression.
I know my state may be in question.

I often smile instead of cry,
And it is all a lie.
I could go on with my day, and act like everything is okay.
But, I really want to run away.

You may be in a state of astonishment and awe.
Is this really what you thought you saw?
I am broken, and I am torn.
I sometimes wish I had never been born.

If I don’t say anything, and pretend everything is okay,
Will you believe that I’m just this way?
My appearance and actions are my cover.
But, there are things about me I don’t want you to discover.