The Raven

January 11, 2012
By n3xtusplaya DIAMOND, Honolulu, Hawaii
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND, Honolulu, Hawaii
83 articles 23 photos 232 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you are not."





~Luara Moncur


I was sitting alone in the woods
When a raven came and sat beside me,
The dark color of his little body reminded me of my present state,
It's beady eyes reminded me of all the evil things.
It didn't speak, it didn't even 'sing,'
It only sat there on the bench beside me,
That didn't matter, I welcomed any solace it would bring-
I started examining the bird some more,
It's beak so tiny but yet it sung so loudly,
I also noticed its feet; all bent out of proportion and quite gross-
But it managed to stand anyway, supporting himself.
If a bird like him 'dark and gloomy' could stand so proud
How much more could I?
Despite my issues why can't I stand strong?
But I can!
So rising on my feeble legs I stood to my struggles-
Encouraged by the little black bird,
Feeling triumphant I turned-
But I couldn't find my recent companion,
Then I heard a 'coo' above my head,
It's like he was telling me to 'spread my wings'
And that I could sing too!-I could be free!
So I did exactly as he suggested to me.
That was the day the raven came and counseled me.


The author's comments:
I get inspiration from all sorts of things around me...this one came when I was wishing I could fly...leave this earth...then I realized I 'could!' To a certain extent...

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This article has 8 comments.


on Jan. 20 2012 at 10:26 am
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND, Honolulu, Hawaii
83 articles 23 photos 232 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you are not."





~Luara Moncur

actually this is one of my rare non-rhyming poems...i thought id try something different but i agree rhyming is important and interesting. thats awesome, about syria and all!

jasso GOLD said...
on Jan. 19 2012 at 9:08 am
jasso GOLD, Damascus, Other
16 articles 10 photos 68 comments

Favorite Quote:
courge dose not always roar, Sometimes courge is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying : i will try again tomorrow

i think rhyming is important. but its good i like it. i am from syria and poetry is important in arabic litrature. long ago people talked poetry like, rhyming every scentence . so i think it is never a problem when u do it a lot.( get on chat)

on Jan. 13 2012 at 2:48 pm
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND, Honolulu, Hawaii
83 articles 23 photos 232 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you are not."





~Luara Moncur

Thank you snowi!

on Jan. 13 2012 at 9:48 am
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND, Honolulu, Hawaii
83 articles 23 photos 232 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you are not."





~Luara Moncur

true story! Ill definitely take your word, cause quit frankly i miss rhyming! Thanks!

on Jan. 12 2012 at 6:07 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

What?! There's no such thing as rhyming too much! If rhyming is your style of writing, then it's not too much. So i disagree with those people...rhyme all you want! Rhyming gives poems flow and stuff, keeps the reader engaged...tho some poems aren't meant for rhyming...i'll stop my rant now...

Snowi BRONZE said...
on Jan. 12 2012 at 5:37 pm
Snowi BRONZE, Boise, Idaho
4 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am me deal wit it.

AMAZING lol, no but seriously it is

on Jan. 12 2012 at 4:45 pm
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND, Honolulu, Hawaii
83 articles 23 photos 232 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you are not."





~Luara Moncur

Thank you, and actually I wrote this the other day purposely to 'break' away from the rhymes because I'd gotten comments that I rhyme too much...but I do agree because I love to rhyme!

on Jan. 12 2012 at 4:20 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

I like your poem, but you could make it sooo much better if you made it rhyme. However, it's still very good, i like the idea and the inspiration...it's got a good message too. =)


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