According to People Magazine...

January 11, 2012
Rings the doorbell
The mail arrives
Leanne Halpret runs for the mailbox
Outside her ruby red door
She grabs the stack of mail
And sorts through the bills
The coupon books,
And credit card offers
To find her People Magazine
It’s the all access George Clooney issue
Her favorite actor
She flipped through the magazine
Scanning the latest Kardashian escapade
But something catches her eye
Khole’s new health secret:
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV
Leanne gazed down at her not so flat stomach.
Two years post baby
And still no skinny jeans
She resolved to get as much sleep tonight

Crunches the garage door
Her husband returns home
Her husband who “watches” Jay Leno as he sleeps
Her husband who snores like a primary trumpet’s solo
Her husband who tosses and turns and hogs the blankets
Her husband who will prevent her from losing
A maximum amount of weight!
But that doesn’t mean she won’t

Chimes the clock
It’s ten at night
The Daily Show is on
And the snoring
Leanne furrows her brow in disappointment
No burning calories to night
So she returns to reading about George Clooney
Sometimes, George Clooney sleeps in his walk-in closet
Because the bedrooms are too bright
Leanne raises her blonde brow
And brings her black silk sheets
Into her closet
Let the calorie melting begin!

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