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The land of the free

Wear the right clothes
Smile at the camera
Listen to the right music
Stand up straighter
Think in the right way
Listen to your elders
Don't look so depressed
Your free, don't you remeber





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AriShine This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Okay, I have a few things to say about this poem. To start out, there are a couple grammar errors, but that's not the key issue.

Here, you are expressing your frustration with conformity. That's great; it's a wonderful message. However, I looked at your poems because I saw your post on the article, "Learn Our Language". In your post, you said immigrants should CONFORM to our culture and learn English. Hypocritical, much?

 
Look_to_the_stars replied...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:19 pm
Okay well first of all, it's a poem it doesn't need grammer, nice try though. And second of all, it was wrong of me and I take full responsibility but another thing is that you come off very confrontational and you seek to throw something in my face, your intention is to make me angry and get in a fight and sorry but I don't work that way and neither should you. Another thing is that you just comitted the fundamental attribution error, judging me in an extremely negative way when you... (more »)
 
AriShine This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 6, 2013 at 5:51 pm
I'm really sorry if I came off as rude; this is an old comment. I did not in anyway mean it in that manner, and no, I certainly do not judge you. I was just trying to point this out and give some constructive criticism. I realize that I could have phrased my comment differently, and I apologize for that. But just know that I was not meaning to be negative or rude.
 
AriShine This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:10 am
It's a really old comment, and I don't know why I was being so confrontational :(
 
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