fear is an unwelcome friend

December 20, 2011
I pray for the day, when fear himself will no longer follow me.
For the day it does not, will be the day I shall surely live like no other!
I will loveth thee as a summer's day.
I will jump off a cliff of life, and not once glance downward.
I will run as fast as a fierce cheetah; and be as strong as a roaring lion.
For I shall contain fear not, nor have doubt in my running veins.
I will smile again, my dear friend! I will surely smile!
I do not fool you, when I say fear is an unwelcome friend. For this surely is no lie.

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thatunknownthingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 20, 2012 at 5:04 am
your comments on my poem were encouraging, thankyou, but i'm not sure if you've offered honest criticism. anyway this is what i think of your work: beautiful poem, conveys a constructive message relatable to everyone. the last line, however just seems to be too flat an ending, that can be improved upon. but a crisp, interesting piece.
Apollo77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 11, 2012 at 5:15 pm
I like the creativity of this poem and i love the language you use to pull it off. The descriptions are really great, but i do agree that sometimes the old language can be confusing...really cool and i love your writing style!
Pitiful_Anonymous said...
Jun. 1, 2012 at 9:39 am

I really like this poem as well. It's only flaw for me is a little bit too much use of the old time language. I mean it takes talent for new writers to write that way, but i think maybe sometimes if you use it too much, people get kind of confused, and that's what happened to me when I read this.


But, like I said, It's a very good poem, and your a talented individual.

eternal_sunshine said...
Apr. 11, 2012 at 6:37 pm
This is beautiful. I really related to it, and I think many teens are held back by fear. Nice job approaching a common issue in a unique way. I felt your passion, and the poem flowed well. Lovely job
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