I love you, too. | Teen Ink

I love you, too.

January 6, 2012
By alligator6 SILVER, Neenah, Wisconsin
alligator6 SILVER, Neenah, Wisconsin
6 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.


At the edge of the hospital bed
I feel a thousand miles away.
Can he hear me?
I hope he can hear me.
My heart ushers his eyes to open
Only to find stillness in return.
I want to paint his face
Put the color back in his once rosy cheeks.
Just yesterday that smile lit up the room.
Now the beep of his heart rate reminds me
To breath
To touch
To feel
I want to break the monitor.
Put a miracle in the rhythm
Of a heart that fails to keep beating.
The wires all over are holding him here
Giving me one last chance
To say goodbye.
If he can even hear me.
I pray to God he can hear me.
I find his hand under the sheets
I hold onto it for dear life.
My heart aches to feel the warmth
To feel the life that loved to live
To hear his laughter once again
And put it in my dreams for safe keeping.
Daddies are supposed to laugh.
Why can't I hear him one more time?
The memories stay as his soul leaves
I say the last words I want him to hear
Can he hear me?
I pray to God he can hear me.
His voice echoes in my head
"I love you, too."


The author's comments:
My dad passed away last year and poetry has helped me cope. It's my heart spilled out into words. It feels amazing.

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This article has 78 comments.


on Jun. 17 2013 at 6:20 pm
Beaniebaby123 PLATINUM, Cedar Park, Texas
38 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Give a man a fish he eats for day, teach a man to fish he eats for a lifetime."

im so sorry about your dad...i really thought your poem was great. It helped me cope with my own loss.

on Sep. 11 2012 at 5:39 pm
dolphincrazy226 BRONZE, Madison, Alabama
4 articles 2 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is Good!

First off, I'm sorry for your loss. Second, great poem.  The imagery is impeccable and it makes one wonder who the poem is about.  you answer by creating the image of your father bit by bit, instead of all at once.  that gradual description is perfect for this poem.  And i love your happy ending, too.  a perfect blend of emotions of the narraotr and imagery

Sabee said...
on Mar. 4 2012 at 2:23 am
Sabee, Mawanella, Other
0 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less!!!!!

This is one my favourite article...i love it..i felt a lot when reading this..thank u so much muzee

on Feb. 17 2012 at 7:15 am
celebeauty1 SILVER, Newark, New Jersey
9 articles 4 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"fight till you get to the TOP!" written by me

" i am not who you think I am. my people are not who you think they are. our culture and traditions are unknow to you.
so put your brews and blunts on pause. rock with me for a few" Sister Souljah

it very beautiful and i love it!!!!!!

Muzix BRONZE said...
on Feb. 10 2012 at 5:50 pm
Muzix BRONZE, Washington, District Of Columbia
3 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
life is never promised so live it to the fullest

I feel the same way about my mom this was a GREAT poem good job and keep up the good work....And he heard you the answer comes in many ways !

on Feb. 1 2012 at 2:26 pm
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND, Honolulu, Hawaii
83 articles 23 photos 232 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you are not."





~Luara Moncur

I know he heard you. My mom was once very very siick its actually a miracle she lived...she was in a coma for 5 days and i thought she couldnt hear me but she did! I know he heard you and i know he said it back in his heart and! Very emotional and touching.

on Jan. 27 2012 at 7:04 am
RedInk92 BRONZE, Penn Yan, New York
2 articles 3 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
The sun also shines on the wicked

i like the paint his face line. its very moving.

on Jan. 20 2012 at 4:11 pm
Halolover54 BRONZE, Johnston, Iowa
1 article 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never give in"

I believe that he heard you and still can. Lv ur work!

on Jan. 20 2012 at 1:04 am
DarkenAngel94 SILVER, Teachey, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What?!?!Dude really??"
"Don't walk in front of me, for i may not follow,
Don't walk behind me, for i may not lead,
But walk beside me and just be my friend."
"You may not know me dont let my name come out of your month, unless your talkin to me"

thats really touching...i have had a lot of family die and i hve never worte about it like this i love it i really do!!

-Kal- GOLD said...
on Jan. 20 2012 at 1:01 am
-Kal- GOLD, Carthage, North Carolina
14 articles 0 photos 244 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible, and recieves the impossible"
-Anonymous

It was really sweet! I won't critique structure or anything, because I don't think that is what you cared about when you wrote this, but it was really good as far as content :)

on Jan. 17 2012 at 6:35 pm
alligator6 SILVER, Neenah, Wisconsin
6 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

He had a stroke.

Jules5600 said...
on Jan. 17 2012 at 5:18 pm
Jules5600, Mequon, Wisconsin
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I love you poem! It is so seroius and interesting. I am so sorry that your dad died. What did he die from?

on Jan. 16 2012 at 4:23 pm
Seelix PLATINUM, Chandler, Arizona
20 articles 3 photos 72 comments
This is very well written, and it's good you're using creativity to help you cope and get through this. It's amazing that you can share something so personal. Wonderful poem.

.king. SILVER said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 10:56 am
.king. SILVER, Yeux Bien Tres Bien, Other
9 articles 4 photos 573 comments

Favorite Quote:
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nice write, touching sad, I like the emotional feelings !

cookiestar said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 12:04 am
this is beautiful and emotional. I love the way its written:). Good job!

Fizza SILVER said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 12:00 am
Fizza SILVER, Raipur, Other
7 articles 2 photos 177 comments
Nice Poem. :)

on Jan. 15 2012 at 11:50 pm
DarkTink BRONZE, Bronx, New York
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live life to the fullest for tomorrow might never come

its a great poem almost made me cry i love the way you use the words very strong feelings in this poem

on Jan. 15 2012 at 9:32 pm
Rogersright BRONZE, Thomasville, North Carolina
4 articles 1 photo 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Dealing with backstabbers, there was one thing I learned. They're only powerful when you got your back turned"

wow this Mind blowing. Good job !

on Jan. 15 2012 at 5:27 pm
Writer_Jordan GOLD, Ellicott City, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 183 comments

Favorite Quote:
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

Poetry is very hard to write. This is one of the few poems that made me emotional! Veryyy good!

normgrl GOLD said...
on Jan. 15 2012 at 1:26 pm
normgrl GOLD, Jacksonville, Florida
13 articles 11 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do we eat to live or live to eat?

Oh my gosh, I was reading this and a movie instantly begun to play in my head...your poem is very easy to visualize - that's a good quality. Great job!


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