Can you tell

December 17, 2011
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We used to be friends
To tell each other anything
To laugh and cry together
To not fit in.

When we first met I didn't like you
Your silence estranged me
Your indifference bored me
And I never really looked at you.

And you had your nose in books
Or drawings of strange sorts
Sometimes I even forgot that
You even existed.

And then I got to know you...

It was that project
Where I couldn't find a group
Because they could only have four people
And my friends already had four.

You were looking too
But you were too shy to ask
And we were thrown together anyways
You were holding your book.

I go back to the library
When we were doing the poster together
And I felt awkward
Because it was too silent already

But that day changed my life
And you were never a quiet boy
You were itching to tell someone
You were just too shy.

Your stories were eccentric,
like nothing I'd ever heard before
And by the end of the day
We were friends and I had your number.

Now I sit with you at lunch
Just me and you
because none of my other friends
Had lunch sixth period.

But I loved that,
Just me and you.
I could tell you anything,
And we learned more and more each day.

I'd look into those eyes,
a beautiful, warm shade of grey,
and from that day onwards,
I have loved grey eyes.

And soon there came one thing I couldn't tell you
The fact that we were friends,
But for me you were more than that
You were a different category.

You were perfect in every way
I loved your perfect smile
And I loved your sweet immaturity
And you were no longer the quiet one.

When we were together
We were always talking
And I was always lost in those eyes
Those eyes that sparkled every time I made you laugh.

We’d play pranks together
And you’d always get the blame.
You always laughed it off and made me laugh too,
But I didn’t like it when you’d always get the blame.

Every day I’d play tough girl
Because you liked me that way
And because that’s the way I was
And that’s the way you knew me.

But on the inside,
My heart was melting
And now I was itching to tell you
How I really feel.

On the day before school set out for Christmas
I made you a funny card
Filled with my drawings of my favorite stories
That you told me.

I’m sitting on the orchestra side of the gym
For the school assembly
And you’re in band, and
You’re sitting on the bleachers with your band friends.

And my best friend teased me
And told me she’d give it to you for me
And tell you it’s from your secret admirer.
I told her I’d choke her if she did.

But I told her to give it anyways-
I wanted to see your reaction.
I looked over at your red hair
And quickly looked back again.

Carly came back
Told me she’d given you the card.
My heart was beating so fast
I felt like I was going to throw it up.

You were reading it
And you were smiling and laughing.
All the other guys were trying to read it, too,
But you didn’t let them.

And you looked up and caught me staring at you
And you smiled at me from the bleachers.
It was the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen.
I thought I’d die from a euphoria overdose.

But I still didn’t know how to tell you
I don’t know what to think
I’m so confused
All I can think of is you.

Shouldn’t you know by now?
Can’t you tell that I love you?
Why am I so confused?
Why can’t you tell?

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