Pretty in Thin

The voice in my head
Directs my actions
It’s no longer a conscious decision.

I can’t figure out
If the voice is mine
Or if it’s someone different.

Could it be that the
Terrible things the voice says
Are really my own opinion?

The calories I eat
The pounds I lose
I don’t even know if it’s worth it.

Why am I doing it?
I can barely answer
Other than to be beautiful.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
But the beholder has a distorted view.

To be beautiful, your bones must show
No fat can cover your body
Starvation is the only way.

I know it will hurt me
I know I could die
But, honestly, I don’t really care.

If it makes me beautiful
If I can love my reflection
Then it will all be worth it.

Even if I die.