I run from the pain and truth, to my secret place no one knows. It’s hard to listen to the crashing and screaming, the ceramic dishes clashing with the wall. It’s as if the innocent were to be deaf. I was left when I was 7 and never fully found. I find myself from time to time. Only to be blinded by the beauty of that sacred self. Sleeping is the only escape but sooner or later reality slaps me awake and leaves the only thing that’s real. Hurt. As I sleep I hear angels sing a beautiful song or I see myself in purple majestic clouds with a little girl. She has also lost her way. She reminds me of myself, or how I used to be, before the anger, hatred, and jealousy. She asks me when I see her to help find her mom. The only answer I have is “I’m sorry” if only I knew her I could help but she’s the reoccurring threat that keeps appearing. I don’t fully understand why she’s here but she once told me I’ll know when the time is right. The only one who knows is me but I’m gone remember. I left a while ago. My spirit has up and gone away only my body is left. It’s here in hell burning but she tells me do not fear. How can I? She’s the angel sent to me from somewhere. She was sent here to look after me and my lifeless body. I ran away long ago…from pain and truth. Now I live in agony and lies. I’m blinded by the stupidity of the choice I made long ago. I need a home, love, and the laughter a 7 year old would need. But that’s gone I can’t wish back the time taken from me and her. I run away from the pain and truth to a place not only I could describe to someone like you.
Keeping Hidden Memories
December 13, 2011