All my life I’ve had this concern floating around in the back of my mind that once I grew older, I’d never again see the people who are currently in my life. I hated that. Mainly because, for the most part, I’ve surrounded myself with truly great people who I love and care about deeply. I still surround myself with wonderful and beautiful people, but I no longer have that concern. In fact, the idea of completely moving on and never seeing anyone that I now know ever again is sort of appealing. Maybe I’m just saying this because it’s 1 in the morning and my depression in matched only by my exhaustion, but I think this feeling is real. I want to move away. I want to go where no one has ever gone before. I want to write about my experiences and have people doubt my stories and not even care because I know that I did it and that’s all that matters. And I want to do it by myself. I want to tell everyone just exactly how much I love them, and then bid them farewell and not worry about whether or not I’ll even lay eyes on them again. Perhaps I’ll come back having missed everyone and my “vacation from reality” will be just that; a vacation. Or maybe I’ll decide to stay on my “vacation” a while longer and eventually turn it into a “move.” I just want to come to grips with the fact that some people aren’t meant to be in my life forever and quite honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that. Everything happens for a reason.
Vacation From Reality
January 2, 2012