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A Still Photograph and A Broken Heart
Forgive me for I have lied,
I have lied about my feelings that I had felt for you,
Perhaps if things changed, you would still be here
You be here helping me mend my broken heart.
Your presence cannot be felt through the photo paper
And your voice cannot be heard
through the silent emotion of the paper that holds your frozen smile.
As I touch your photograph my heart is filled with a burden, for I wished you were here.
Seventeen years filled with remorse and disgust
It was only now, that I have regretted my thoughts.
I have to admit that it was you that hardened my heart
And many at times cause me to reject the past lovers of my life.
I was afraid to open my heart, and let others in
But underneath the fear of loving someone, held my fear of being hurt.
If I said that I was alright, I would be lying.
Perhaps now I needed you now more than ever.
It’s been ages since I’ve taken a glimpse of your face,
So many things have changed about my life and I.
But, underneath the light makeup and clothes, is still your loving daughter
Of course now she’s taller and smarter but she still has your smile.
The books that were once read by your eyes are now under mine,
And like you, I enjoy walking through scenic views with these books.
Earlier today I found a home made map in your items
And like my love for you, the map had no ending.
I spent half the day in the flower field that mom has not discovered,
I spent countless moments thinking of what I could do with your map.
I figured I would finish it and mark the place that I knew you would love.
After hours of searching I approached this place.
I gathered all my letters that I should have sent to you
As well as the photographs of my past years
In this breathtaking place I buried a box with all of my words.
As for the map, hid it back into your belongings.
Forgive me daddy, for taking this long to finally write.
Forgive me for my actions, for I knew your pain is twice as heavier than mine
I am not aware of where in this world you are.
But, maybe one day, my path will lead me to you