the night is black
and through the dark's eyes
I see
a woman, a figure, staring back at me
she is not ordinary, not real
but a reflection
of what I fear the most
what I fear is not logical
not part of my reality, of my everyday life
rather, a side of me I hold back,
pretend i do not have
try to destroy with strength
strength I do not have
it is the pain I hate, and that haunts me
it is the things I crave, and that deserts me
it is the thing most want and look for
it is the thing I dread and hide from
what stares back is an image
a mirage, no less, no more than that
I close my eyes, take a deep breath, open them
the woman is no longer there and I am thankful
yet I feel a little sad
for I just faced and gave away
what hurt the most
now I feel empty
no longer me
and I miss seeing her
the friend i never wanted but got anyway
by myself once again
no more happiness