Gateway

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I left my soul on that beach, as I lay there in the glory of Central America's own sun.
My heart, divided in two, separated from my body and dispersed itself through the warm, languid sand,
Leaving me with half a restless soul.
But, fret did I not, for that is where my soul...
I belonged

Maybe I was better with half a soul,
My horcrux held in the sands
Like the necklace in Potter's hands as he discovered
It had already been found.

Maybe my soul had finally found its way into the earth
Through this lustrous, soft beach.
Maybe this was
The Gateway

I would not spend a lifetime
Waiting for the divine
To accept me at Heaven's Gates.

For, I have found the ten foot tall, golden rods that frame my entrance to the world,
And it's not in the sky,
Like the guy from inner-city New York preaches to the crowd
So loud.

My Gate is not through fire or ice
Or any other stereotypical good is good and bad is bad cliche
That scares children at night before they pray.

This Gate,
This spectacular doorway to true happiness,
Was beneath me...

In between my toes, in the folds of my bathing suit
All through my hair, and even up my nose.
This soft but crunchy freedom was the Gateway
To my earth and my soul.

As I lay there on that thieving sand,
I learned more about my soul than I had from any Bible, Torah, Disney movie...
That is what they're for, right? To tell me who I am?
I lied there and listened.

My soul wasn't perfect.
So what if I didn’t like poetry that rhymed or beated?
Or if beated wasn't even a word in that context?
I don't pretend to know anything.
Anything goes in my soul.
No rules, line with rhymes or beats
Or heat that angers my thoughts, but keeps me safe
Cheap. That’s cheap.

I don't pretend to know what's wrong or right in the world,
Or where I'm going, or what I'll do
When he knocks on my door, but sends me back down
Because I only have half a soul.
I wouldn't have made it in there anyway.

When I look down my two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
I don't stop to take a picture.
I rarely photograph events in my life.

Because, while I'm looking through the lens, waiting for that perfect shot,
I might miss the greatest experience happening right before my eyes
When the lights not right
Or there's a fly on my screen.

That black smudge in my way
Changes my day, my life
Because I might have witnessed something
So great.

The things I could have seen,
If not for my ADHD...
Attention Distant, Hoping for Destiny to strike.
That's my ADHD.

I'm too busy waiting for the world to happen around me
So I can get that perfect shot in the dark,
That moment in time worthy of a black, gold-lined frame
In your almighty office.

So, I don't carry a camera anymore.
Instead, I step out the door to my neighborhood,
Look down those roads in a yellow wood,
And walk.


Not in any direction or time or space,
Because destiny will take me and my ADHD to the sea
Where it began on that beach with the sand
And that is my soul.

Singing every tune, living every moment with no regrets...
I don't consider to sigh at my new found sky
Because the other road might have been greater.


To me, that is my soul,
That road led the others off a cliff, masked by Autumn's Leaves' innocence.
I do not hesitate to marvel at something great,
And I won't throw a log at a snake drinking from my water trough.
I will share.

So, there!
I left my soul there on that beach in the sand
To seep into the Earth
Through that Heaven-like Gate.
And I was in a Heaven-like sate.

My soul shall remain there,
In the Central American air, the heat
And now I know
Everything.





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