No Particular Gloom

December 20, 2011
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A storm cluod shrouds the day
Its gloomy vail hanging over the city
The sun fights to get through
To bring hope
Bring it anew
Light’s sword pokes and prods
Finds a weak spot
And lo! it barges through
Now you see a shaft of light
And I see you





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Brie555 said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 9:23 pm

I totally love your poem! ;D I like how you got that frome a picture of a cloud ;D *hugs* Also I like the last two lines

  And lo! a light finds a weak spot through the clouds

Now you can see me and I can se you

 
Nick5 replied...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 1:32 pm
The part where it says "lo! a" isn't a grammatical error or a typo, it is a full stop. It is a cool trick I learned
 
Brie555 replied...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 2:34 pm
OH! Lol, well its really cool :D
 
leafy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Wow, nice poem! I loved the subject and personification, very creative :). However, I will put out there that the rhyme with through/anew and through/you does kinda bother me, but that may just be me...
 
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