December 8, 2011
By Anonymous

Cold feet curl around rough stone
Hands clench unfeeling metal
That will never squeeze back
Hair becomes wild from incessant wind
Knotting strand onto strand in the confusion
Teeth chatter against pale, tight lips
Frame sways against the jerking of the bridge
Breathing becomes more and more haggard
As if the air has become trapped in the lungs
Stuck behind thin ribs which are wildly thrashing
And a throat that constricts with every sob forced through
A mouth which has become to worn by insults
Too bruised from slaps
Too etched by a frown that stays even after sleep has taken its hold
Too scarred from lies and broken trusts
Eyes no longer brim with hope
But sink in tears
Eyelids quiver and gaze down into a endless abyss
Each little wave hits another
Creating a hectic hammering
Swirling around hidden boulders
Lurking beneath the water’s surface
Many souls have leaned over the edge and not come back
Many have gotten their toes in the boards and fell forward
Hitting the water with no regrets and no sense
And many have wished that someone had been there
To grasp the folds of their shirt and pull them back
Many have wished someone had clawed at their skin
Left deep marks there and reminded them why they had
Any reason at all to stay
This time as many others
There was no such figure
No one to sob and distract a mind too numbed by sorrow to feel
the pains of reason or logic
On such a day a figure stood
Pressed against the railing
Heaving with doubts and uncertainties
Too afraid to let go and fall and too afraid to climb back
The girl stood clinging to the railing
Trying to soothe her scattered thoughts
Finally after many long drawn out dramatic moments
The girls decision was made
She grasped the other side of the rail
And heaved herself back to where she had come
Her toe touched the wood of the other side
Her heart slowed at least a fraction
Her mind stopped racing
And her lungs stopped wheezing
Just when she shifted her weight
The railing creaked one sad low moan
Metal fibers broke apart
And the rail cried out
One loud terrible belch
And when she turned her head to look behind
To see a few metal fragments hitting the water below
The railing sprung out taking her with it
That instant of panic slowed all time
It caused her heart to stop
The beating in the chest reduced to nothing
Eyes saw the bridge vanishing
But did not compute the impending disaster
Hands still grasped a chunk of metal
No longer attached
Pupils widened when the realization
Sunk deep to that slowed heart
Like a knife biting there
Thin lips parted into a silent scream
Hair covered her eyes
And fear her throat
She tried to twist away
Like she had from everyone else
From every hateful word
From every hit and sting
From every tore up piece of self assurance
She tried to turn inside on herself
As she had other done before
But this time she got no relief
No fleeting moment of flowing emotion
And no escape
It only turned her towards her fate
Twisted her back toward the water
Made her eyes see where she was going
Made her chest resume its beating
Made her lungs throb
Made her heart lurch
And within the moment before contact
She thought of the rain
The way it hit the blades of grass
The way the clouds swelled from water
The way the wheat swayed in the wind
The way the ocean tore at the shore
And the shore tore right back
The way her mother smiled at her
Before her life broke
The way a man on the street tipped his hat to her
How light on her skin warmed her
How the fur of a kitten felt on her fingertips
The way she watched forgiveness clean others
From every sin and hasty word
The way that the same world that broke the heart
Patched it up again
The way she would need this forgiveness
To forgive herself
And those who had drove her to this
And with the wisdom of someone the possible outcomes
Favorable and unfavorable
And accepts them anyway
With knowing her choice was made the minute she stepped on that bridge
That her choice was wrong
That no one would blame her
And no one would understand
That no one could relate
But people did care
That if she could
she would never let her feet
Brush the wood of the bridge
But they did
And with grace
And one last hurried gulp
She closed her eyes
and hit the water

The author's comments:
This is about realization
realizing that choices are made before you realize you have made them
that it could take a failure to realize what you have
that through forgiveness we are ultimately free

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