The Long Flight To Where I Can't Go

December 8, 2011
I’ve reached a breaking point.
High tide and sinister,
With facetious eyes in lieu of tears.
The midpoint of destruction
Searching for escape,
Some peace of mind
Thinking through crystals
I see rain.
But the clouds I see aren’t gray.
I see blue in the eyes of hatred
Isn’t that how we learn?
When the fire burns out,
What feeds the flames inside us?
The will to fight
Disappearing in flight
My wings were clipped,
What’s your excuse?
I know the falling rain,
So similar to tears,
Are like waterfalls on my face.
Meet me in the middle,
I’ll show you the way.
The way to being pure,
Even though I haven’t been,
I know how to be.
Because my boiling point increases,
Until magma reaches the chamber.
When pressure builds,
I become my own worst enemy.
Like a ticking bomb,
I’m counting my seconds
Until the fuse is short,
Still I don’t turn tail.
I stand and shout my battle cry
As the explosion passes me by.
The cries of those I love blow in the breeze
Slicing wounds into my soul.
Their voices
Are shackles locked to my ankles.
Chained to my heart.
They’ve bound me to a god-forsaken place
With no escape!
With no trail in the sky.
I look to the heavens
But what I see looking back at me,
Isn’t so beautiful.
The tears of those I love
Fall from facetious eyes.
I can’t see now.
My mind,
A labyrinth of color.
The crystals have cut me from inside out.
These shackles rub raw to the bone,
Please let me go!
But when the key is lost
And those eyes tease
And taunt,
I’m embraced by shards of onyx
Coiled into copper
As the wind blows paint the color of amethyst.
Isn’t that how we die?
The rain flooding my soul
I’m not a grazer
I’m meant to browse
To go out in the rain,
To run through the flames,
Spread my wings!
And break the mirror in front of me
With what little time I have left
In the hourglass turned upside down
As the grains of sand fall like rain drops
They puncture my wings
Like bullets.
And now I’m flying!
I’m flying!
And I head straight for the sunrise.
The sparkles playing off the waters
Blinding the naked eye.
The thrill of the unknown before my sights
Suppresses and appetite
I never knew I had.
Because I’m free!
But then I remember
After takeoff,
These shackles bear bruises of pride.
I’m not going anywhere.
Stuck in this god-forsaken place
They’ve branded me with leisure!
Now of lesser value,
I can see again.
Though I wish I couldn’t.
I see the pain in the eyes of those I’m going to lose
When I leave them behind.
But I’ll leave you my memories for the time being.
I won’t be gone forever.
Just long enough to build my own walls.
A castle of medieval defenses
No chains,
No locks,
No keys,
No strings attached.
But when I
Think to braid the strings of my imagination
My little world slowly unravels.
Thread by thread.
Now, I’m glued to the thought of midair misfortune
As the rain washes me clean.
A misconception of raw purity
Brutal honesty taught me to live.
I’ll live a while longer
Yearning for freedom,
Open air awaits
Calling me in the wind
I lift my wings
The breeze carrying through the rips in my sails
Standing on the edge of sanity
Ready for takeoff
With sights of blue in eyes of hatred,
My head turns to the view behind me.
I’m still a prisoner.
My warden,
The life of those I claim.
A life sentence to rabid gore.
It’s not fair.
I don’t want luxury.
I just want my freedom!
A journey just for me.
I’m already on my knees.
Can’t you see?
My world rains down like stones
Killing my cotton covered limbs
I slowly start to shed
I’m losing every ounce of my wings.
The migration has not yet called me
Looking down
Ready for a change
I see gravity beaten rain drops hitting cotton covered ground
That water filling those puddles
Sure look like feathers.

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