Time.
It goes by too fast.
But at other times it just stops.
Freezes.
And when it does...
I do too.
I stop.
I think of the past
How it use to be
and all of the things
ive
seen
heard
experienced
and
most of all
My actions.
If they were
Right or wrong,
Good or bad.
And what other people thought.
If I thought I had done the right thing,
I would smile
and feel bubbly inside.
Overwhelmed with joy.
And
then
If I thought I had done something wrong or dreadfully awful
I would go far...far from everything and everyone.
I was alone.
Alone enough to cry my heart out.
I would feel
disgusted and selfish.
Bad enough to where I would hurt so much
I would then hurt myself.
Not so much emotionally... but physically...
Until I was worried sick. Sick to my stomach.
I would worry about my friends, my family...If they would understand or not.
If they've ever felt the same...
I would worry about if they knew what I was doing to myslef.
I would lie
and hide everything. The scars on my arm were nothing but mere scratches from where I had fallen..
Then it came down to knowing that I was just making my life harder than it should be.
Then I would let it all out.
Feel free again.
Now time would just
defrost.
Seconds at a time.
Then just fly on by again.
I would also move on
to live my life.
To think of nothing
but the future.
What lies ahead.
New beginnings.
I would smile...
and it would
stay that
way.