October 24, 2011
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I watch, adorn an array of emotions
My life just spills out like sand, A child making castles on no man’s land.
I need to see how you look today,
Just in case, I forget how that smile plays upon that face.
I am an addict, and you are the drug, that keeps me from making mistakes.
I am a sinner, and you are the ignorance that keeps me from hurting myself
I am suicidal, and you are the daily dose of the life saving heroine.

Sometimes I’m just falling, my fingers clawing in the dark.
Like the shadows on the ceiling when I lie awake in the darkest hours.
Pretending it’s us on my wall, dancing with no reckons, no consequences.
We fade out like mist, evanescent like the time we gambled from our lives,
A hope, a desperation, a look of no manipulation, a need to breathe, a dance of expressions, a hapless smile, a mind senile,
A need for you, a desperate call, a hasty mail, a weird message, a note scribbled in class, a wish to be the one I call your girl friend.
Yet I seem satisfied just to be a ‘friend’
I stand by you as you say ‘I do’, but it’s not me to say ‘I do too’.
I leave, many words unspoken, a disillusioned mind, with no sense of emotions.
A frenetic craving subdued by the though of YOUR happiness. A need to know that you will smile looking back upon us, but seldom wonder, what if we looked back together?

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