I wasn’t nearly tall enough to ride a rollercoaster,
My ears stuck out like TV antennas,
And I was the only one in my class who saw the world through squinty black eyes.
Honestly, I was a comedy gold mine.
Yet, those things didn’t seem to bother anybody.
But more important than trading Pokémon cards
And running away from girls with cooties
Was making fun of Alex’s tiny hands.

Not much changed in the era of Abercrombie,
If anything it got worse.
Because if you have small hands,
You know what that means….

Enter acne, alcohol, and actually having to care about grades.
The taunting stopped, but the insecurity stuck with me.
I got my first girlfriend, and I think I reached third base before I found the courage
To finally slide my five pronged embarrassment out of the safety of my pocket
And place my hand in hers.

When you’re growing up, some things change.
Others don’t.