Take a Step

December 6, 2011
White roses of heroes wilt,
one by one
Angels cry in silent tears,
on and on
As we live life with fears
Never love,
but always lost
Never be,
and never seen
Where are the fires?
The honor?
The need?
The point where Death turns?
Or where that smile means something to me?
Why has love become no more?
And the soul; the magic,
become strange to me
Bring forth, our Sun,
light to darkest corners
May good take over,
and shadows all gone
But what little trickery we play on our mind
Truth stands stronger against our lies
If the stars were to fall to earth, I say
May your heart beat,
more and more
Find the darkness,
Evil powers,
There no point in return
So far lost, good is truly gone
See our humanity become,
torn and torn
After all, we’re only human
Bound to mistakes
Not angels,
but demons
Do you find this life worth living?
Then live your life
Make a mistake
See your flaws,
but don’t obey it
Try to change it
See the light, even in blackest nights
Stand up,
people are in need
Rise up,
Feel the good,
the need,
the love
Let the light take over,
and feed your soul
Find it amazing?
Take more steps,
become our hero
Let the angels feel proud again
And we will follow,
becoming human

Join the Discussion

This article has 14 comments. Post your own now!

Labtopnerd This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 22, 2012 at 11:57 am
Amazing poem. 10 out of 5 stars!
wordjunkie said...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 8:00 pm
Lol. I join the masses in the thought that stansas might be benificial, and also in loving this peice. I have to say, I love your poems. Good work!
applesauceHater replied...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 10:37 pm
heh yeah. my future poems shall be seperated!Thankyou fore reviewing!I'm so glad you like my poems!!!!
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile said...
Mar. 7, 2012 at 8:34 pm
I must agree that I think this poem would be better broken into stanzas, but that is about my only critizism. Its really well written and really quite beautiful
applesauceHater replied...
Mar. 7, 2012 at 8:38 pm
oh ya no, i totally agree with that too:)thankyou
Cooper_W This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 8, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Hm. Poetry. Not really my thing, but I'll give it a go. Scrolling through the comments, I can see that you've gotten some advice to break it up into stanzas. I agree with that 100%. Just a little bit of formatting would make it a lot easier to read. That being said, I do like the style of the poem, the short lines, one or two words each time. Makes it feel choppy, but not a bad choppy, a good choppy. I like the message too. Be better people. At least, that's what I got from it, but that's ki... (more »)
applesauceHater replied...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 1:42 am
yup everyone sees poetry in different ways. that what makes it almost magical...atleast the good ones:)but that was the message of my poem;/dang nabbit! it was too obvious jkjk!thank you for the comment, future entries will be fixed:)thankyou!and feel very honored that you read "my" poem even though you said it really wasnt your thing!^////^thank you so much. it means alot
GreenSerenity said...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 4:51 pm
I agree with MoraleAsh that stanzas would make it easier to read, and that the content was the best part. Maybe throwing in a few metaphors/similes would make it a bit more interesting? Sorry if I sound overly critical--it's just how I am :)
applesauceHater replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 5:17 pm
no its good. how else am i to get better if people don't say what i need to work on. thankyou
MoraleAsh said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 9:11 pm
I enjoyed the content of this piece more than anything. It was hard for me to read because it was really lenghty. My suggestion is to split it up into stanzas so it's easier to read. Otherwise, great job.
applesauceHater replied...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 5:10 pm
very wise critique there:)stanzas are just making it into seperated paragraphs:)heh...thanku for the comment. It means alot. theres a part that was off to me in here, but i'm gald u still enjoyed it.
applesauceHater replied...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 8:39 pm
sorry, second line was supposed to be a question. Stanzas are paragraphs of poems?
MoraleAsh replied...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm
yes they are. even though it's split up into short lines, which is nice, it's still hard on the eye. It's like if you have a really long essay but short sentences. But you don't wanna read the essay because it seems tedious. Aha, i hope that explains it!
applesauceHater replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback