Take a Step

December 6, 2011
By applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments

White roses of heroes wilt,
one by one
Angels cry in silent tears,
on and on
As we live life with fears
Never love,
but always lost
Never be,
and never seen
Where are the fires?
The honor?
The need?
The point where Death turns?
Or where that smile means something to me?
Why has love become no more?
And the soul; the magic,
become strange to me
Bring forth, our Sun,
light to darkest corners
May good take over,
and shadows all gone
But what little trickery we play on our mind
Truth stands stronger against our lies
If the stars were to fall to earth, I say
May your heart beat,
more and more
Find the darkness,
overwhelming
Evil powers,
exhilarating
There no point in return
So far lost, good is truly gone
See our humanity become,
torn and torn
After all, we’re only human
Bound to mistakes
Not angels,
but demons
Do you find this life worth living?
Then live your life
Make a mistake
See your flaws,
but don’t obey it
Try to change it
See the light, even in blackest nights
Stand up,
people are in need
Rise up,
Feel the good,
the need,
the love
Let the light take over,
and feed your soul
Find it amazing?
Exhilarating?
Take more steps,
become our hero
Let the angels feel proud again
And we will follow,
becoming human



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This article has 14 comments.


on Dec. 22 2012 at 11:57 am
E.J.Mathews GOLD, International Falls, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 145 comments
Amazing poem. 10 out of 5 stars!

on Mar. 11 2012 at 10:37 pm
applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments
heh yeah. my future poems shall be seperated!Thankyou fore reviewing!I'm so glad you like my poems!!!!

on Mar. 11 2012 at 8:00 pm
wordjunkie BRONZE, Houston, Texas
1 article 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who say it can't be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

Lol. I join the masses in the thought that stansas might be benificial, and also in loving this peice. I have to say, I love your poems. Good work!

on Mar. 7 2012 at 8:38 pm
applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments
oh ya no, i totally agree with that too:)thankyou

on Mar. 7 2012 at 8:34 pm
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD, Roseville, California
17 articles 1 photo 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"if you're not 1st you're last"

I must agree that I think this poem would be better broken into stanzas, but that is about my only critizism. Its really well written and really quite beautiful

on Jan. 17 2012 at 1:42 am
applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments
yup everyone sees poetry in different ways. that what makes it almost magical...atleast the good ones:)but that was the message of my poem;/dang nabbit! it was too obvious jkjk!thank you for the comment, future entries will be fixed:)thankyou!and feel very honored that you read "my" poem even though you said it really wasnt your thing!^////^thank you so much. it means alot

on Jan. 8 2012 at 2:50 pm
Cooper_W SILVER, Atlanta, Georgia
8 articles 0 photos 12 comments
Hm. Poetry. Not really my thing, but I'll give it a go. Scrolling through the comments, I can see that you've gotten some advice to break it up into stanzas. I agree with that 100%. Just a little bit of formatting would make it a lot easier to read. That being said, I do like the style of the poem, the short lines, one or two words each time. Makes it feel choppy, but not a bad choppy, a good choppy. I like the message too. Be better people. At least, that's what I got from it, but that's kind of the point of poetry isn't it? Everyone sees something different and all that. Anyway, change the formatting around a little bit and that should help a lot. I did really like it - keep writing!

on Jan. 6 2012 at 10:17 pm
applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments
yup:)thanku

on Jan. 6 2012 at 5:17 pm
applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments
no its good. how else am i to get better if people don't say what i need to work on. thankyou

FireIgnited said...
on Jan. 6 2012 at 4:51 pm
FireIgnited, Valley City, North Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 29 comments
I agree with MoraleAsh that stanzas would make it easier to read, and that the content was the best part. Maybe throwing in a few metaphors/similes would make it a bit more interesting? Sorry if I sound overly critical--it's just how I am :)

on Jan. 3 2012 at 9:46 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 179 comments
yes they are. even though it's split up into short lines, which is nice, it's still hard on the eye. It's like if you have a really long essay but short sentences. But you don't wanna read the essay because it seems tedious. Aha, i hope that explains it!

on Jan. 3 2012 at 8:39 pm
applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments
sorry, second line was supposed to be a question. Stanzas are paragraphs of poems?

on Jan. 3 2012 at 5:10 pm
applesauceHater SILVER, Nikolaevsk, Alaska
8 articles 0 photos 124 comments
very wise critique there:)stanzas are just making it into seperated paragraphs:)heh...thanku for the comment. It means alot. theres a part that was off to me in here, but i'm gald u still enjoyed it.

on Dec. 25 2011 at 9:11 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 179 comments
I enjoyed the content of this piece more than anything. It was hard for me to read because it was really lenghty. My suggestion is to split it up into stanzas so it's easier to read. Otherwise, great job.


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