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Moments Before

Last one in class
First to take my breath away
Pulling out my homework,
I soon forget all I’ve rehearsed to say

They say where words fail
Music speaks
But my usual vibrato
Becomes raspy in your eyes

Those beautiful blue eyes
Tortured
Not belonging
In such a hopeless place

I watch them
As they softly click closed
And fan open as majestic wings
Of a sorrowful butterfly

I turn my head quickly as you look up
And smile in slow motion
Tugging at my rugged jeans
I blush at my toes

Some monotonous voice beyond interrupts
With a mention of unimportant words
Something of conjugates and vectors
And such

Clearly not as intriguing as the moments before

Ahhh.

Moments before…



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This article has 6 comments. Post your own!

GreenSerenity said...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 4:54 pm:
I love the idea, but I think establishing a rhyme scheme would make it better. Besides that, great job :)
 
Goddess replied...
Jan. 9, 2012 at 3:04 pm :
not bad. the first part really brought back memories. but over all, u did a amazing job
 
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MoraleAsh said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 3:07 pm:
I like the idea portrayed in this piece and i really like the first stanza. I don't know if you did it on purpose or not but it kind of set up for the rest of the poem to rhyme as well. We all know it doesn't have to but that would've helped with the rhythm in my opinion. Otherwise, great job.
 
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Jumper008This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 7:34 pm:
You captured the mood really well! Great job! :)
 
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BrokenBreeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 6:13 pm:
This is pretty good(: My favorite stanza is about the person closing their eyes then having them reopen. Well done.
 
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LoveOnHerArms. said...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 4:44 pm:
very good :)
 
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