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Catch me if you can

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I’m falling
From my artificial fantasy
To a cold hard reality
Into your hands

And I don’t know
Where I’ll land
So catch me if you can





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This article has 15 comments. Post your own now!

Basketball23 said...
Apr. 27, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Short, but very enjoyable :) 
 
RedFeather said...
Apr. 26, 2012 at 7:56 am
Again, your poetry clearly shows your cold and stony perception of reality, but this one tells more that you used to live in a bueatiful world, which was abruptly shattered by some life-changing event that caused you to grow up too quickly. Am I correct, or am I just fooling myself?
 
readaholicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:12 pm
OOO...had to read it twice to understand..iiiinteresting...
 
leafyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 8:46 pm
Ooh I really like this poem, it packs a lot of meaning into just a few words. There are just a couple nit-picky things that I'm gonna suggest. First, I would make it into one stanza, like lilmartz, I see no reason why to split it. Also, "cold hard" should be "cold, hard." And lastly, this is just a style preference, but I think that it would flow a little better (not to say that the flow is bad) if you uncapitolize (sp?) the lines in the poem that aren't the start of a sentence. Other than that,... (more »)
 
EtherealThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 5:16 am
hehe, that would be my proofreader at work, thank you for commenting!
 
IamtheshyStargirl said...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 1:17 pm
I like this, it reminds me of something a friend once said about losing herself so she could find herself.
 
EtherealThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 1, 2012 at 5:16 am
thanks :) :)
 
lilmartz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 30, 2011 at 10:27 am
This is short and sweet and I like it! I don't see a reason for there to be two stanzas, but that's just my opinion. I also think you should use some kind of adjective describing the hands, just to contradict the "cold hard reality." I really like the part about the artificial fantasy. Nicely done :)
 
EtherealThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Thank you!
 
samiasaskia24 said...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Smoothly written. Your poetry makes me think, and wonder what will come next.
 
EtherealThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 12:35 pm
thank you for commenting guys, it really means a lot.
 
LadyRose said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 3:16 pm
Very well written. you paint quite a picture in my mind within the first few words.
 
HonorThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 7:29 am
Nice...it's a Haiku right?
 
EtherealThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 9:03 am
no, it's not a haiku, it a free verse poem
 
HonorThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 9:25 am
Oh well i fail at poetry stuff. Oops, sorry 'bout that. :P
 
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