Catch me if you can

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I’m falling
From my artificial fantasy
To a cold hard reality
Into your hands

And I don’t know
Where I’ll land
So catch me if you can





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This article has 15 comments. Post your own now!

Basketball23 said...
Apr. 27, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Short, but very enjoyable :) 
 
RedFeather said...
Apr. 26, 2012 at 7:56 am
Again, your poetry clearly shows your cold and stony perception of reality, but this one tells more that you used to live in a bueatiful world, which was abruptly shattered by some life-changing event that caused you to grow up too quickly. Am I correct, or am I just fooling myself?
 
readaholic This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:12 pm
OOO...had to read it twice to understand..iiiinteresting...
 
leafy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 8:46 pm
Ooh I really like this poem, it packs a lot of meaning into just a few words. There are just a couple nit-picky things that I'm gonna suggest. First, I would make it into one stanza, like lilmartz, I see no reason why to split it. Also, "cold hard" should be "cold, hard." And lastly, this is just a style preference, but I think that it would flow a little better (not to say that the flow is bad) if you uncapitolize (sp?) the lines in the poem that aren't the start of a sentence. Other than that,... (more »)
 
Ethereal This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 5:16 am
hehe, that would be my proofreader at work, thank you for commenting!
 
IamtheshyStargirl said...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 1:17 pm
I like this, it reminds me of something a friend once said about losing herself so she could find herself.
 
Ethereal This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 1, 2012 at 5:16 am
thanks :) :)
 
lilmartz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 30, 2011 at 10:27 am
This is short and sweet and I like it! I don't see a reason for there to be two stanzas, but that's just my opinion. I also think you should use some kind of adjective describing the hands, just to contradict the "cold hard reality." I really like the part about the artificial fantasy. Nicely done :)
 
Ethereal This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Thank you!
 
samiasaskia24 said...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Smoothly written. Your poetry makes me think, and wonder what will come next.
 
Ethereal This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 12:35 pm
thank you for commenting guys, it really means a lot.
 
LadyRose said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 3:16 pm
Very well written. you paint quite a picture in my mind within the first few words.
 
Honor replied...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 7:29 am
Nice...it's a Haiku right?
 
Ethereal This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 9:03 am
no, it's not a haiku, it a free verse poem
 
Honor replied...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 9:25 am
Oh well i fail at poetry stuff. Oops, sorry 'bout that. :P
 
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