Once Upon A Blue Moon

December 2, 2011
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I've been thinking about you lately,
But I'm not sure why,
You weren't my first love,
But then again I guess you were.

We never dated, we never even hung out one-on-one a lot
But we did once:

Just you and me, talking and laughing and hanging out...
It was fun; not as awkward as I thought it would be.

There was something there, but I never realized until years later.
It wouldn't have mattered anyway
Because you were dating someone I once knew,
Though I wouldn't call it dating, even then, you seemed to be drifting away
And spending as little time as possible with her.

I don't know if she would have cared
But it felt like betryal to even have a small crush on you,
Though I knew I did,
And I felt bad, so I kept it to myself,
Even monthes later when you broke up again;
Did you dump her, or did she you?
The way she spoke of it, I think it was you
Then I wouldn't be able to do anything anyway
Because that would be like a stab in the back.

Maybe I'm romanticising it all now, a couple years down the road
Maybe there was nothing there,
Maybe it's just my own wishful thinking...
I fell so in love with you in a single night
That I'm hoping there was something there
So it won't seem so da** pathetic.

I still have your number in my phone even though
We haven't spoken in a while.
I can still see your face, I can still hear your voice
I can still recall all the times we spoke
I know it might seem silly, I guess it might be time to move on...

Past crushes have never been this hard to let go of
Except for one other besides you
And I was only eight with him;
I was fourteen with you
But that shouldn't have mattered

I always scoffed and shook my head
When kids our age said
They were so in love,
I never thought teenagers were capable of thinking or feeling
With anything other than their hormones.
But it was never like that with us;
The only time we ever touched was a simple hand-shake,
And even that made me feel too much.

Time has come and gone and I don't know where you are,
I don't know how you're doing,
And you don't even know if I still exist.
You've probably gotten taller,
You've probably gotten your hair cut at least once,
You've probably changed quite a bit since then...

What about me?
Am I taller?
I haven't gotten my hair cut since eighth grade,
Haven't even dyed it again -
Have I changed much?
If I were to run into you on the street or the store
Or if you were to call me up out of the blue
What would I have to say to you?

Would I tell you that once upon a blue moon
I had completely fallen for you?
Would I tell you that I'm done with you?
Would I tell you that you're one of the few I'll never forget?

Or would that be a lie?
Will I ever forget you?
Will I ever get over you?

I can't help but wonder,
Even though you just recently seeped back into my mind,
It took me so long to realize what I felt for you...

Did you ever realize before I did?
Did you even care?
Did you feel the same way too?

It doesn't matter now,
I just wanted to know, for the record.
And I've never said this to a real person before,
But I think, once upon a blue moon,
I actually fell a little in love with you.





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