Dark Room

November 27, 2011
By Rhiannonbloss PLATINUM, Aptos, California
Rhiannonbloss PLATINUM, Aptos, California
28 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
What is depression really? Is there one concrete definition, or has the meaning loosened as our generation has continued it's downhill descent? To me, depression is simply my life. I'm not suicidal. I'm not a cutter. I don't hate the world. I don't dress completely in black. I'm just sad. I've been sad for what feels like my entire life, but that's not true. I was happy once and I can vaguely remember what it felt like, but I can't touch it. I can't get that happiness back, I don't know how. That's what depression is to me, knowing what happiness is, but never being able to touch it, to feel it.- Jenny Leigh

The only sound here is my heartbeat
Thudding endlessly like your footsteps in my mind
In my dark room I am trapped
Another prisoner to love
My tears no longer fall
Long ago did they dry in my blind eyes
I can't find a way out
There is no light left to shine on my path
The candles have burned to pools
Drowning me like the memories
I am stuck inside my past
Love that was never meant to last
Moments of happiness repeating
Each killing me a little more
Torture to last an eternity
I cannot hear those trying to save me
My ears too filled with beautiful lies
They've blended with my own screams
There is no mercy for those who love unconditionally
Devotion is repaid with misery
Why must I suffer so?
I will never let go
That is my curse and my salvation
I will keep crawling along the jagged fragments of what I've lost
Though I bleed forever I'll never stop
Once I needed others to banish my fears
Now only myself, falling deeper into insanity
I cannot trust anyone
They always betray me, forsake me, forget me
No more am I a slave to loneliness
I have my own reality
In my silent slumber
What I lost cannot disturb me
Dreams are my sanctuary
To my kingdom where love never dies I can go
Walk across clouds of gold with the one I loved
There I am never alone
Never scared, never tired of this life, never unwanted
In my kingdoms of dreams I can live
Still even there I am haunted
By the stubborn thudding
Of a broken heart refusing to mend
When I awake
I am in my dark room once again
Reality crashes on me with my fears as the weights
Will I ever break free of living a lie?
I smile at the shadows
We can't see eachother
Like mirrors we see ourselves
So we put on our smiles, our optimism
Pretend the pain isn't there
So we may live like we're dreaming
Our realities could someday be lived awake
We go on living like slaves
Even though we all know
We are in dark rooms with clear walls
We all suffer uniquely but we all have one thing in common
Emotions, the essence of life, personality, destiny
Now in my dark room realization brings the dawn
I can see again my path
My eyes can see the sun for the first time
I raise them to the sky
Now I can let my spirit fly
Unburdened by reality, free from the dark room
If only this fantasy
Wasn't just a dream to the rhythym of a broken heart

The author's comments:
The grammar is kind of bad in some places, but I think it sort of adds to the poem. It shows the confusion in my mind.

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