I sometimes wonder, what to do, how to feel. I should be angry, according to my parents. I shouldn't feel anything, according to others. I can't. I can't do it. He wouldn't get mad. He would get depressed. I would feel guilty. Horribly guilty. Tragically guilty. He cared some much about me. So much, that he gave up a part of himself. He still cares like crazy. He is still waiting for me. My picture is his phone background. What to do? What to do? Sometimes the adults just don't get it.