I am afraid of main street,
bus stops,
exclusive company,
and going to the grocery store alone.

Metallica makes my stomach turn,
and the song Unforgiven is a knife in my side
it makes me sweat and stings my chest,
my hands shake to its memory.
To your memory.

In a crowded place,
a 5 o clock shadowed face
or a pair of glasses make me take
a double glance
and then a triple.
Your face is everywhere.

I cant escape you,
or what you did.
Sleep doesn’t rescue me.
In my nightmares you lurk,
to chase me,
a haunting.
I'm always tired.

I am never safe,
I scope out all the exits,
list all the what ifs,
and plans for escape.

I tried to hate you,
but it didn’t help,
so instead I hate myself.
I don't think I forgive you,
but I don’t forgive me either.

I'll pretend I'm okay,
but its just one more thing I’m not good at-
Practice makes perfect
right?

I suppose its true what you said,
I am weak
and you'll always be stronger.