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Gazing at the stars

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Gazing at the stars is how she breaks free, from her somewhat painful reality....
They unlock her creativity and set her on her feet....
She gazes at the stars in hope,one day those stars will have guided her....
Guided her far away, into her dreams..
Without a doubt, without a fear..
Over the moon, through out time...
Into the rivers, out of a mine...
She will fly high with no boundaries in her mind....
Gazing at the stars she can live again...



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xxtennis13xx said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 4:52 pm
you switch tenses three times: "she gazes at the stars in hope, one day those stars will have guided her" I am not sure what tense that last part is, but I think the whole poem would sound great in present tense like the beginning is. Also, the ellipses (...) are not needed at the end of each line. It helps the flow not to have them. BUT I really really like this, besides my criticism! It's very well written and a cute idea. (: Check out my things? 
 
Paramour13 said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 3:55 pm
I like this :) check out some of my work?
 
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