You
give me a sick,
twisted feeling in my stomach.
Everything that I’ve done for
you doesn’t even matter.
I treat you with respect.
And you?
Yeah,
you treat me like crap.

When I say “no” it never works,
you always get everything your way.
When I ask you for a favor you purposely ignore,
walking away as if I was invisible.
But when you ask me for a favor I listen and do it
because,
as an older sister
I thought that I’d have to do everything for you.

Like taking you to your friend’s house,
when no one else is willing to drive you there.
Or buying you clothing that all your friends wore
because, you wanted to look “good.”
I made sure that you knew where all your
classes in high school were.
I encouraged you to try out for the dance team
and you made it.
I was so proud.

I do all this
to show you that I’ll always
be the one to help you when you need it.
I do all this
so that you’ll be happy.
I wanted to be
the caring older sister,
the one that was a good role model,
who you looked up to.
I wanted to be
your favorite sister,
wanted to be
the one you pointed to and told your friends,
“that’s my older sister, she’s the best,”
but no.

In your eyes I’m not.
I always ruin your plans,
get mad at you,
and
I never do anything right.
I’ve never heard a
“thank you”
from you.
It hurts so much.

But,
like an older sister
I’ll continue caring, and doing what I do.
And maybe, maybe just one day
I’ll hear
“thank you.”

I’ll never stop loving you, Sammie.