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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Old-Ham said...
Sept. 23, 2011 at 5:56 pm:
so.beautiful.
 
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Mrs.parez said...
Sept. 22, 2011 at 1:15 pm:

this is a lovely poem

 

 
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gonzalo said...
Sept. 16, 2011 at 2:33 pm:
I liked the poem because it tells us the importance of the fathers to protect us.
 
thegirlwiththemessyhair replied...
Sept. 23, 2011 at 5:55 am :
i think it means that the dad is too overprotective and while he won't let the son fall, he won't let him fly either.
 
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TevoRocks said...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 5:44 pm:
i really like the story is it true?
 
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GodGirl_JesusFreakThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 5:43 pm:
Well, it's not that the dad was mean, the point of the story is that the dad didn't wan;t his kid to leave him.
 
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Hair & bertha said...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 12:20 pm:
Sow did the kid drown
 
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crazycatlady said...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 9:40 am:
The dad sounds really mean. But the whole poem was really good.
 
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smile123 said...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 7:27 am:
i loved it i understand what u meant when u said then i knew that i was bound.
 
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purplemonkeys999 said...
Sept. 13, 2011 at 3:51 pm:
i love it but how does that make you bound?
 
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mariarosamarinelli said...
Sept. 12, 2011 at 5:45 pm:
Ooh, chilling. I loved it.
 
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tionashaylaR said...
Sept. 11, 2011 at 4:02 pm:
what was your idea behind this poem? what made you want to write it?
 
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bb42495 said...
Sept. 10, 2011 at 10:19 pm:

i loved the idea behind this poem and the overall rhythm...my only ssuggestion is to change the word birdie, although i know that would present some difficulty for you with reconstruction and rhythm. you did quite well with this piece. i love the idea of a father holding back his own son. you put it into words very well. you have talent.

if you have time check out my poems. i would love your feedback

 
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SHUTTERBUG said...
Sept. 9, 2011 at 9:54 pm:
I LUVVED IT IT WAS spectacular and the best part was that he thought he could prove his dad wrong but after a couple times still didnt quit witch i wouldnt have the courage to do any of that
 
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Skillz said...
Sept. 9, 2011 at 12:39 pm:
This work is really good and i loved how the boy kept proving the father wrong.
 
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EmiliePhillippi said...
Sept. 7, 2011 at 10:45 pm:
This poem is really amazing! I feel like it is referrring to parents who encourage their children to pursue their dreams, but don't truly let them. This is not necessarily something that can be helped. For example, if a little girl wants to be a fairy when she grows up, her mom's going to have to tell her it's impossible, even though the mother also tells her daughter to make her life whatever she wants it to be.
 
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benighted14 said...
Sept. 7, 2011 at 10:22 pm:
it is a great poem and poems aren't always meant to be compeletely understood...
 
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love or hate said...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 12:33 pm:
live your like and dont care for others.
 
LOvEMOnStER replied...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 12:38 pm :
love or hate, I agree and disagree. I think it's important to care for others , but its also important to live your life how you want to.
 
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LOvEMOnStER said...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 12:11 pm:
I didnt understand this poem at first but after my friends explained it I understood. This is a pretty messed up poem though.
 
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