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Daddy's Womb MAG
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
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This article has 2181 comments.
You wrote a great poem! well, i guess it was already proven since it had been the most discussed and top voted poetry for months! :) CONGRATULATIONS on that. and i don't question it, really. i think your poem easily sends off a lot of images and feelings. I disagree to some, saying that the last few lines doesn't belong. I can see that those last lines are what made your whole poem perfect. it made the whole sense out of it.
but the "birdie" thing is quite laughable. you could've chosen other good rhymes without destructing the message of the poem.
but all in all, as what everybody says, you're poem astonished me! it was great and i'd love to see more from you! >:P
- :*
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