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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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ScarlettJones said...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 6:31 am
I adore this poem, it tells how we are always restrained by our elders, and it relates to everyone :)
 
RainyWriter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 8:08 pm
Adults are always telling us we can do whatever we want, be whatever we want. But really, we can't always. And they're always trying to control. Usually anyway. I love the double meaning in this poem, and it could be interpreted in so many ways. I also like that it's short and sweet. Keep it up.
 
samuel_wolf_nightwing said...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 8:38 am
this is very well written and true. adults of today try and chain us to the ground so we may never soar with the birds, i comend you and putting this truth in a poem. i hope to read more from you later on.
 
EthanCalhoun said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 4:34 pm
painted a great picture, very well written, i really enjoyed
 
Regan said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 2:19 pm
I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS POEM!
 
BeccaKoko said...
Jan. 16, 2012 at 11:09 am
Really good meaning! It definelty left me thinking.... btws anybody feel free to check out some of my work! please leave comments and rate! thanks!
 
Metal_Mulisha said...
Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:21 am
not sure what to say,I liked it but it was kind of short and straight to the point way to soon.
 
Tman219 replied...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 1:05 pm
i liked this poem and its meaning!!!!!!!!
 
chloe_garrett said...
Jan. 14, 2012 at 5:44 pm
I really like this poem and the way you talk about being bound to the earth by your fatherThis is a really great poem. keep writing. I write poetry too.
 
marisol21 said...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 10:13 pm
This is great. I like the title. You should read mine.
 
KatherineKilljoy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 9:22 am
I loved it.
 
jusc44 said...
Jan. 11, 2012 at 11:45 am
This is amazing! Check out my Poem " Our Love" Thanks(:
 
laverne said...
Jan. 9, 2012 at 2:25 pm
that was great..! i would love for you to read mine.
 
Mimi15 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Check out my poem 'On our Own'
 
expressionconfession This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 11:42 pm
like the title, love the construction of the metaphor. all awesome! however i'd caution you to watch your rhyme scheme... if you read this out loud to yourself you will feel that some lines seem to short/long and a few easy word changes would smooth the flow
 
Barbara C. said...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 7:20 pm
this is incredible! well done
 
HagenDazzle said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 11:15 pm
Lovely poem! I agree with the meaning of the title and how it ties into the essence of a father's love (that's what I view from your piece) Keep up the great work!
 
Shayla C. said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 5:05 pm
This is beautiful ! I think this is a well thoughted and was put out very well .. Im very impressed !! :D
 
Erebus_Wildfire said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 9:05 am
I agree and what explain the meaning of the title
 
Erebus_Wildfire said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 9:04 am
this piece is good the structure of it is not bad and even when giving a regular post you should always be sure have punctuation
 
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