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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Blacknblue_kissez said...
Feb. 5, 2012 at 12:06 pm
This poem is filled with imagery, it's so vivid and beautiful. I can see a warm summers day, and a boy trying to prove his father wrong. I love this.
 
White_Trash843 said...
Feb. 3, 2012 at 4:18 am
Great poem i wish i could be as good as you are and congrats on the mag i hope you keep writing!
 
Labyrinth said...
Jan. 30, 2012 at 2:36 pm
It is very good. And where do you get off saying it's "DREADFUL"??? I think you have no eye for poetry. V_V
 
AlexisNicole822 said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 7:58 pm
The flow was incredible, and I loved how it gives the reader different ways to view it. Mind blown(:
 
HisMinx said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 7:14 pm
this is amazing!
 
Jen_Vargas said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 4:09 pm
Hm... it was interesting... the ending was a bit confusing though...
 
zhlen This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Because it is very good, the context is well written and the rhythm is smooth. How did your comment get published? :O
 
Luna557 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 3, 2012 at 11:03 pm
This made me smile.
 
Bat-MobileThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 4:17 am
love it, great rhythm
 
brokedownandlonely said...
Jan. 24, 2012 at 8:58 pm
great poem
 
hannah.maria said...
Jan. 24, 2012 at 6:11 pm
great poem. i really like the theme, and the rhyming is clever and cute. phrasing could be improved, though. great work, keep it up!
 
Snoopy12 said...
Jan. 23, 2012 at 6:26 pm
Great work! It's so true and beautifully written. Thank you so much for creating this. I absolutely love it when people write poems that are true to life (though fantasy is all right). We can all relate to it and grow off of it. Again, thank you for writing this!
 
blubird17 said...
Jan. 22, 2012 at 4:39 pm
This is awesome! Keep on writing!
 
stanza1 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 22, 2012 at 10:17 am
very very nice
 
ScarlettJones said...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 6:31 am
I adore this poem, it tells how we are always restrained by our elders, and it relates to everyone :)
 
RainyWriter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 8:08 pm
Adults are always telling us we can do whatever we want, be whatever we want. But really, we can't always. And they're always trying to control. Usually anyway. I love the double meaning in this poem, and it could be interpreted in so many ways. I also like that it's short and sweet. Keep it up.
 
samuel_wolf_nightwing said...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 8:38 am
this is very well written and true. adults of today try and chain us to the ground so we may never soar with the birds, i comend you and putting this truth in a poem. i hope to read more from you later on.
 
EthanCalhoun said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 4:34 pm
painted a great picture, very well written, i really enjoyed
 
Regan said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 2:19 pm
I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS POEM!
 
BeccaKoko said...
Jan. 16, 2012 at 11:09 am
Really good meaning! It definelty left me thinking.... btws anybody feel free to check out some of my work! please leave comments and rate! thanks!
 
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