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The Girl By the Sea

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The transparent skin that was once as charming
As the translucent glow of sharp shards of glass, so disarming.
Bold lies told to the faces of everyone who asked,
Those burlesque smiles so carefully masked,
But the truth of the sorrow would leave all aghast
Because the bloody stains of these handprints are oh-so alarming.

The girl by the sea
With her translucent skin and dizzy dreams
Tells the story of the boy who’s made of glass
And how he would make pain appear and make it last
Her fabrications are now a thing of the past
Her demise was a tragedy unable to forsee

How long will it take to feel the burn?
Longer than lasts love’s strongest yearn?
Because there’s so much blood and yet no pain
As the hunger of violence cannot be sustained
The acceptance into Hell is awarded with heavy acclaim
The reward was exceptionally earned.

Heart, you have never raced so fast
As you did when you lay eyes on the boy made of glass
But the young love you possessed would be unrequited
Now his sharp shards of glass no longer frighten,
And their sharp edges do nothing more than brighten
And the heartbreak will no longer last.



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This article has 10 comments. Post your own!

DanielM. said...
May 12, 2012 at 8:23 pm:
That was really good. Great job!!
 
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Aaka131 said...
Feb. 7, 2012 at 7:51 pm:
This is great and the choice of words makes it very unique and well worth reading. Keep up the good work this is an awesome poem to read and it definitely deserves 5/5. :)
 
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Lord-Flavius-Jacobius-Ossummuss said...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 5:51 pm:
Nice job! This is really a beautiful poem...
 
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Resonating_Words said...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 5:03 pm:

At risk of repeating what the previous comments have said, your word choice is really what makes this for me, as well as your avoidance of the 'expected' way to go about this. 

You could have done something miserably melo-dramatic, and yet this is powerful and flows beautifully -- really the rhythm is exceptional.

Taking the boy of glass, something that could easily be portrayed as delicate, and showing the sharp edges and ability to hurt was also something I really liked. ... (more »)

 
Batsby This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 7:48 pm :
I really appreciate this comment. Thank you so much for your help and support! <3
 
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youngspeare said...
Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:11 pm:
Fabulous choice of words. It's perfect batsby! :)
Chcck out my poem "Ghosts of the Past"
 
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Becca17 said...
Dec. 1, 2011 at 4:35 pm:
Amazing diction, description, and a perfect tone you've set the story in. 
 
ByThisBlindingLight replied...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:05 pm :
^ very true. this was exquisitely written!!!
 
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sunshine7223 said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 11:21 pm:
I absolutely love this. I love your choice of words. I love your excellent expansion of words. And I love the way it flows. You did a terrific job on rhyming. Very well done. :) I really enjoyed this. :)))
 
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PrincessBubblegum said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 11:20 pm:

I really like this. I'm not much into long poems. But this is good.

 

 
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