This Feeling

Does this feeling have a word?
It probably does
Even if it does, I don't know it
All I know is you make me happy, you make me sad
You make me really happy, but I hope you never make me really sad
Do you care that I'm 2 years younger than you?
Would you ever think of me as something more than "that cool kid I met at MUN"?
I know its not nothing but I don't know if its something
I don't know what to tell you
I don't know if you feel like its not nothing
I don't want to say anything to you, I've been down that road way too often
Because maybe I'll at least make a friend out of this
I don't write those words down or dare utter them
I know if I do then they will be etched forever
I'll know that it happened and there'll be no going back
I'm scared
Really scared
Reading poems written by you make me feel like I'm looking deep inside
and I know I want to look deeper deeper deeper as deep as I can go
Somehow I don't feel like I need to impress you or lie
I can be honest about life and all else
(Maybe not boys, because that will just make me "the kid")
Am I capable of having something with you?

How do I know that you wont let me down?
Worse, how do I know that I wont let myself and you down?
It doesn't hurt, but neither does it not
I want to know who she was and how she made her way in
But I'm not sure if I want to make my way in
I don't know if its you or if its him
Will you ever be him?
But, what was he?
Is that what its like because that sure felt good
I don't know what this feeling is, but maybe I'm better off this way





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