Here, I Can Barely Think

November 2, 2011
By Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach


Here,
put your hand on my heart
can you feel it beat?
Here,
put your two fingers on my wrist
is there a pulse?
a steady drum beat
that quickens when I walk
because I can barely think
so,
when I exert
it speeds up
because I can barely see
or comprehend

Here,
put your hand in mine
and hold it tight,
because I’m too limp
to hold yours
so,
if you let go
my hand will just fall

Here,
talk to me
I won’t respond
because I can barely hear.
your words filter through
a few minutes later
because I’m too tired
to think very fast

Here,
wrap your arm around me
because I’m cold
and I have no power
to warm myself
or realize that I should

Here,
show me where the pillow is
because I can barely see
I can barely hear
I can barely think
I can barely move
and I need to lay down


The author's comments:
One day I was at school, feeling really sick, so in an attempt to alleviate my pain, I wrote this poem. Enjoy.

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This article has 10 comments.


Risible SILVER said...
on Jan. 5 2012 at 4:57 pm
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach

Thank you so much, that means a lot! And I will, I love it!

on Dec. 11 2011 at 7:45 pm
Captivating-Kay, La, California
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language.
Breathe-in experience, breathe-out poetry.

I think that you should keep on writing and never stop because you have alot of potential in your work...good stuff:)

Risible SILVER said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:40 pm
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach

thanks so much for your feedback guys! If you like this, maybe you'd be interested in some of my other poems...I'm a fan of Brother, but some people have found it confusing, what do you guys think?

on Dec. 5 2011 at 1:51 pm
yeah.....I hate being sick too.....hopefully, I can avoid it this winter......but the poem is good

on Dec. 5 2011 at 10:53 am
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

You were right, this is good! I know that feeling, too. I hate being sick...

on Dec. 2 2011 at 4:51 pm
A_Fate_Unknown BRONZE, Enumclaw, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who make peacefull revolution impossible, Will make violent Revolution inevitable.

Its a long, complicated story.

on Dec. 1 2011 at 9:30 pm
Michellebrain GOLD, Brooklyn, New York
12 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.”
-Marilyn Monroe

i agree with a fate unknown, but does he feel this way becasue she likes him? is that why she has all theses symptoms? great anyway:)

on Dec. 1 2011 at 8:11 pm
A_Fate_Unknown BRONZE, Enumclaw, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who make peacefull revolution impossible, Will make violent Revolution inevitable.

hmmm i beleive you have read my two personal favorites already. Broken wings, and Violets are blue. You may like a sight unseen though.

Risible SILVER said...
on Dec. 1 2011 at 8:03 pm
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach

Thank you so much for the feedback! Yes, I agree with you about it possibly having another story line, it certainly has a romantic feel. I don't know that my other poems are quite as good, but you may like My Eternal Summer, it's a fun one that captures an interesting emotion. Again if you have the chance, let me know what you think. I'd love to read more of your work too, is there one you'd recommend? 

on Dec. 1 2011 at 3:26 pm
A_Fate_Unknown BRONZE, Enumclaw, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who make peacefull revolution impossible, Will make violent Revolution inevitable.

you may have written this about being sick, but it seems to me like theres more to this story.

Because I have felt this way many times, but perhaps in a different sense.

That being said I really like it so thanks for suggesting it to me! I cant see anything that I would correct, none of it sounds awkward to me. It flows well. The first and second stanza's were my favorite.





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