“Not worth it"
she says, of many attempts I make
dismissing goals to graduate
both high school and college.
My brother didn’t
my sister didn’t
so why would I?
My friends are left pouring hope
into spaces she left empty.
I pretend
her words are meaningless
when in reality
they tear me apart inside.
But the words that hurt most?
The ones she never says.
“I’m proud of you”
“Good job”
All the things I’m more than used to hearing from my dad
but never from her.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised
we really only have two things in common.
Reading
cooking.
But last time I checked
you can’t read me your love
and you definitely can’t cook it.
But now when I see her
using that Forever Sharp knife
worth more to her than her own daughter’s education
I can’t help but think of another
made not of stainless steel
but of words both spoken and unpresent.
So thanks Mom
now I’m left removing it on my own
with hopes that someday
we’ll stand together in this kitchen
while you admit the regrets you have
over the words you said
and even more
the ones you never even bothered with.