Equilibrium

November 20, 2011
Custom User Avatar
More by this author
Sometimes, when I wake up screaming
And my veins feel as if five different needles have blown and imploded
Their drugs and lies into my system,
And my radio is blaring songs about libidinous pleasures,
My pillow drowns out my screaming.

Sometimes,
When I am malcontent with the scars that
Deface my body and the degradation of my soul,
I write poetry across the walls of the bathroom
And write in lazy cursive the sighs of my fragmented mind.

Innocence of the mind is too easily disrupted by the
Corruption of the world,
And the purities of what is right
Becomes too easily tangled with new formed “truths.”

I have allowed my mind to forget my dreams and visions
While slowly dissolving small, round pills across my pink tongue,
Because I have allowed society to write my epitaph in big scrawling letters:
Here lies another victim of materialism, consumerism and individualism.


I am glossed over and beautified, and
Erected as a statue.
I have been stuck beside those who glow pretentiously,
And shine naturally.
I have been dusted and shined by mortals who are more
Content in keeping me locked down,
Then allowing me to be inherently free.

My ears have been stuffed with cotton wads
And yet, I can no longer hear the sound of my own heart
Beatbeatbeatbeatbeating.

I can no longer remember what my analogous forms are,
And I lose my train of thought when I pick up a pencil
Because I have been taught that writing is something
Only those with a wish for eternal poverty will do,
And so, I doodle instead of writing my
Clandestine thoughts.

My passions truly come alive and rage
When I lay in my silken sheets at night
And close my brown-black eyes.
I can’t hide my soul forever,
And in the dead of night
I can hear it cry out my name.

I have allowed my bones to bleach
And glisten in the strong sunshine of society,
And I have thrown my hopes away and forgotten them.

I’ve loved many decadent things
And sweated heartache through my diseased pores,
And I have chained my wrists to their wishes
All in the sake of making a name for myself.

A name for myself.

I want to be remembered and not cursed,
I want my humanity to shine through.
I want so many unattainable things
But I have only been laughed at-
Spat at in the face and degraded…
Forced to color inside of the lines.





Join the Discussion

This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Seelix said...
Nov. 25, 2011 at 10:47 am
I think you hit the nail on the head with this view of society. Excellent job, you use words like a jock uses girls ;) Keep writing! Clearly, those who tried to force you to color inside the lines failed. 
 
starlightstarbright This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 23, 2011 at 10:37 pm
I truly love all your poems so far. You have a way with words, the way they match each other, repeat each other, challenge each other. Excellent.
 
julywinters1226 said...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 6:55 pm
good poem.if you get a chance check out my work.
 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback