Butterfly Monster

Butterfly monster attacks my dreams
She said I could do anything
Without even trying
If I live in her world
I don’t even need to do anything
I could have everything
Just live in her world
I was young
So I fell under her intoxicating spell
I fell and fell
I felt great
I’m still falling today
I grab the sides of the tunnel
Falling faster every time I try
I fall and fall
I live in a false world
It is necessary in such a dark tunnel
Dreaming is my savior
My only real world
I could have anything
I am everything
I am everyone
False dreams are my life
Crying doesn’t help
I flung myself at the wall
But all I got was bruises
That taught me
Not to try again
I am now falling
I don’t remember butterfly monster
I blame others for my falling
I hate the tunnel
Will this hole never end?
I almost want it to end
But my reality grabs me and spits in my face
It awakens me
Makes me an ‘adult’
My emotions scream at the walls
Spewing colors out of my mouth
Obscenities scratch the wall till it bleeds
The mirage is fading
I can taste realness
Makes me weak
At least in reality I can feel
I’m still fighting
I believe I can do it
Some part of me misses
Those dark walls
Because I could see anything
Do anything
Want anyone
Be someone
But who wants that?
When you can make those dreams
But you can’t invent realness
I fell

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